“There is a kind of pin-feather gentility,” says “The Verbalist,” “that seems to have a settled aversion to using the terms _man_ and _woman_. Well-bred men, men of culture and refinement--gentlemen, in short--use the terms _lady_ and _gentleman_ comparatively little, and they are especially careful not to call themselves _gentlemen_ when they can avoid it. A gentleman, for example, does not say, ‘I, with some _other_ gentlemen, went,’ etc.; he is careful to leave out the word _other_. The men that use these terms most, and especially those that lose no opportunity to proclaim themselves _gentlemen_, belong to that class of men that cock their hats on one side of their heads, and often wear them when and where gentlemen would remove them; that pride themselves on their familiarity with the latest slang; that proclaim their independence by showing the least possible consideration for others; that laugh long and loud at their own wit; that wear a profusion of cheap jewelry, use bad grammar, and interlard their talk with big oaths.”
“Socially, the term _gentleman_,” says the London periodical, _All the Year Round_, “has become almost vulgar. It is certainly less employed by gentlemen than by inferior persons. The one speaks of ‘a man I know,’ the other of ‘a gentleman I know.’ Again, as regards the term _lady_. It is quite in accordance with the usages of society to speak of your acquaintance the duchess as ‘a very nice person.’ People who say ‘a very nice lady’ are not generally of a social class that has much to do with duchesses.”
“The terms _lady_ and _gentleman_,” says the London _Queen_, “become in themselves vulgar when misapplied, and the improper application of the wrong term at the wrong time makes all the difference in the world to ears polite.”
“Bashfulness,” says Bacon, “is a great hindrance to a man both of uttering his conceit and understanding what is propounded unto him; wherefore it is good to press himself forward with discretion both in speech and company of the better sort.”
“Shyness,” says a modern writer, “cramps every motion, clogs every word. The only way to overcome the fault is to mix constantly in society, and the habitual intercourse with others will give you the ease of manner that shyness destroys.”