Chapter IX.—He Describes the
Praiseworthy Habits of His Mother; Her Kindness Towards Her Husband
and Her Sons.
19. Being thus modestly and soberly trained, and rather made subject by Thee to her parents, than by her parents to Thee, when she had arrived at a marriageable age, she was given to a husband whom she served as her lord. And she busied herself to gain him to Thee, preaching Thee unto him by her behaviour; by which Thou madest her fair, and reverently amiable, and admirable unto her husband. For she so bore the wronging of her bed as never to have any dissension with her husband on account of it. For she waited for Thy mercy upon him, that by believing in Thee he might become chaste. And besides this, as he was earnest in friendship, so was he violent in anger; but she had learned that an angry husband should not be resisted, neither in deed, nor even in word. But so soon as he was grown calm and tranquil, and she saw a fitting moment, she would give him a reason for her conduct, should he have been excited without cause. In short, while many matrons, whose husbands were more gentle, carried the marks of blows on their dishonoured faces, and would in private conversation blame the lives of their husbands, she would blame their tongues, monishing them gravely, as if in jest: “That from the hour they heard what are called the matrimonial tablets read to them, they should think of them as instruments whereby they were made servants; so, being always mindful of their condition, they ought not to set themselves in opposition to their lords.” And when they, knowing what a furious husband she endured, marvelled that it had never been reported, nor appeared by any indication, that Patricius had beaten his wife, or that there had been any domestic strife between them, even for a day, and asked her in confidence the reason of this, she taught them her rule, which I have mentioned above. They who observed it experienced the wisdom of it, and rejoiced; those who observed it not were kept in subjection, and suffered.
20. Her mother-in-law, also, being at first
prejudiced against her by the whisperings of evil-disposed
servants, she so conquered by submission, persevering in it with
patience and meekness, that she voluntarily disclosed to her son
the tongues of the meddling servants, whereby the domestic peace
between herself and her daughter-in-law had been agitated, begging
him to punish them for it. When, therefore, he had—in conformity
with his mother’s wish, and with a view to the discipline of his
family, and to ensure the future harmony of its members—corrected
with stripes those discovered, according to the will of her who had
discovered them, she promised a similar reward to any who, to
please her, should say anything evil to her of her daughter-in-law. And, none now daring to do so, they lived together with a wonderful sweetness of mutual good-will.
21. This great gift Thou bestowedst also, my God, my
mercy, upon that good handmaid of Thine, out of whose womb Thou
createdst me, even
that, whenever she could, she showed herself such a peacemaker
between any differing and discordant spirits, that when she had
heard on both sides most bitter things, such as swelling and
undigested discord is wont to give vent to, when the crudities of
enmities are breathed out in bitter speeches to a present friend
against an absent enemy, she would disclose nothing about the one
unto the other, save what might avail to their reconcilement. A
small good this might seem to me, did I not know to my sorrow
countless persons, who, through some horrible and far-spreading
infection of sin, not only disclose to enemies mutually enraged the
things said in passion against each other, but add some things that
were never spoken at all; whereas, to a generous man, it ought to
seem a small thing not to incite or increase the enmities of men by
ill-speaking, unless he endeavour likewise by kind words to
extinguish them. Such a one was she,—Thou, her most intimate
Instructor, teaching her in the school of her heart.