Earlier publication: “The New magazine of knowledge concerning Heaven and Hell, and the Universal World of Nature” Vol. I, June 1790 Background: The Polish spelling is Wieliczka. The salt mines are currently a major tourist attraction.]]
THE FATAL EFFECTS OF INDULGING THE PASSIONS, Exemplified in the History of M. De La Paliniere.
How shall I describe my feelings at reading this letter! Oh, Julia! cried I, lovely, adorable woman! Is it possible! O God! Can it be that I have accused you of perfidy!--have done every thing in my power to dishonour you!---have abandoned you! What! a heart so delicate, so noble, did I once possess, and have I lost it! Oh misery! I might have been the happiest of men; I am the most wretched. And can I, in my present circumstances, accept the generous pardon thou offerest! O, no! Better die than so debase myself! No, Julia, though thou mayest truly accuse me of extravagance and injustice, thou never shalt have reason to suspect me of meanness.
Streams of tears ran down my cheeks, while I reasoned thus. I wrote twenty answers, and tore them all: at last I sent the following:
“I admire the noble manner of your proceeding, the sublimity of your mind; and this excess of generosity is not incomprehensible _to me_. Yes, I conceive all the self-satisfaction of saying, _All which the most tender love can inspire, virtue alone shall make me perform._---But I will not take advantage of its empire over you--Live free, be happy, forget me.----Adieu! Julia---You have indisputably all the superiority of reason over passion------and yet I have a heart, perhaps, not unworthy of yours.”
With this letter I returned the twenty-four thousand livres, ordering it to be told her, that the diamonds having been given at her marriage, were undoubtedly her’s; and having once received, she had no right to force them back upon me.
I had now made a sacrifice the most painful; Julia had offered to consecrate her life to me, and I had renounced a happiness without which there was neither happiness nor peace on earth for me. My grief, however, was rather profound than violent; I had offered up felicity at the altar of honour, and that idea, in some measure, supported me. Besides, I did not doubt but my letter would prove to Julia that, notwithstanding all my errors, I yet was worthy of her esteem. The hope of exciting her pity, and especially her regret at parting from me, again animated my heart: I supposed her relenting, and grieved, and the supposition gave me a little ease.