Ten minutes later I entered the shop of an athletic outfitter. Unfortunately he had no white vests with red edges: I had to purchase one with blue. A scarf or towel I could find at home.
Four days later I had collected Scarf or Towel Exercises 2 and 3.
"We can," I said, "now make a start." As a matter of fact it was not altogether a foolish proceeding. Deep thinkers are apt to overlook the need for physical culture. This error I decided to remedy.
Every morning I (1) stood in position illustrated, (2) raised arms above head in manner indicated by the instructions, (3) straightened right arm and lowered right hand so that towel (_still taut_) sloped to right, (4) returned to Position 1. I then changed towel for scarf (my own idea) and continued with Exercises 3 and 4.
I was very happy; my only worry was the absence of Scarf or Towel Exercises 1.
Every morning I called at the tobacconist's and purchased packets of cigarettes, eagerly searching them for the missing card. Every afternoon I called again.
For a week I bore my disappointment bravely; then I became cynical.
"Perhaps," I said, "there is no Exercise 1. It may be a joke on the part of the makers."
My consumption of cigarettes increased. Packet followed packet with extraordinary rapidity, and still no Exercise 1.
I began to get worried. "Is it safe," I asked myself, "to do 2, 3 and 4 without 1? The omission may have a serious effect on 2, 3 and 4."
Then I returned to the attack with renewed vigour. In a week I got through twenty tens--with no result.
Disappointed and weary I was walking to the office one morning when suddenly I had an attack of giddiness. By the end of the day I was beginning to wonder if I was very ill. I felt it. Usually the clearest of thinkers, I was dizzy and dazed.
The evening saw the arrival of my doctor, and a thorough examination followed, at the end of which he shook his head gravely.
"Tell me," I said with extraordinary calmness--"tell me the worst. Brain fever, I suppose?"
"Oh, dear no," he replied. "What I'm worrying about is the heart. It's in a bad state--a really bad state. Heaven knows how many cigarettes you've been consuming lately. You'll have to stop it altogether."
I looked at him blankly; then, with a bitter laugh, I (1) stood in position illustrated, (2) raised arms above head in manner indicated by the instructions, (3) straightened right arm and lowered right hand so that handkerchief (_still taut_) sloped to right, and (4) returned to sofa.