Why is divinity the easiest of the three learned professions? Because it's easier to preach than to practice.
Why are cripples, beggars, and such like, similar to shepherds and fishermen? Because they live by hook and by crook.
My _first_ doth affliction denote, Which my _second_ is destined to feel, But my _whole_ is the sure antidote That affliction to soothe and to heal.
What one word will name the common parent of both beast and man? A-dam.
Take away one letter from me and I murder; take away two and I probably shall die, if my whole does not save me? Kill--ill--skill.
What's the difference between a bee and a donkey? One gets all the honey, the other gets all the whacks!
Where did the Witch of Endor live--and end-her days? At Endor!
What is the difference between a middle-aged cooper and a trooper of the middle ages? The one is used to put a head on his cask, and the other used to put a cask (casque) on his head!
Did King Charles consent to be executed with a cold chop? We have every reason, my young friends, to believe so, for they most assuredly ax'd him whether he would or no!
My _first_ if 'tis lost, music's not worth a straw; My _second's_ most graceful (?) in old age or law, Not to mention divines; but my _whole_ cares for neither, Eats fruits and scares ladies in fine summer weather.
Which of Pio Nino's cardinals wears the largest hat? Why, the one with the largest head, of course.
What composer's name can you give in three letters? R D T (Arditi).
Spell enemy in three letters! No, it's not N M E; you're wrong; try again; it's F O E!
Spell auburn locks in two letters! S and Y.
Spell brandy in three letters! B R and Y, and O D V.
Which are the two most disagreeable letters if you get too much of them? K N (cayenne).
When is a trunk like two letters of the alphabet? When it is M T (empty).
What word of one syllable, if you take two letters from it, remains a word of two syllables? Plague; ague.
Why is the letter E a gloomy and discontented vowel? Because, though never out of health and pocket, it never appears in spirits.
How can you tell a girl of the name of Ellen that she is everything that is delightful in eight letters? U-r-a-bu-t-l-n!
What is it that occurs twice in a moment, once in a minute, and not once in a thousand years? The letter M.