PARK--"Wouldn't think of such a thing. It's been stolen a dozen times and has the finest collection of fingerprints you ever saw."
A witness in a railroad case at Fort Worth, asked to tell in his own way how the accident happened, said:
"Well, Ole and I was walking down the track, and I heard a whistle, and I got off the track, and the train went by, and I got back on the track, and I didn't see Ole; but I walked along, and pretty soon I seen Ole's hat, and I walked on, and seen one of Ole's legs, and then I seen one of Ole's arms, and then another leg, and then over one side Ole's head, and I says, 'My God! Something muster happen to Ole!'"
In a letter to the editor of the New York Sun an anonymous writer gives the following important interpretations of various phrases of "Desperanto," or the language indulged in by frantic telegraph editors on American newspapers:
Terrific Slaughter--Sixteen French and seventeen Germans wounded.
Hurled Back--The withdrawal of an advanced outpost.
Thousands of Prisoners--Three German farmers arrested.
Deadly Air Battle--French aeroplane seen in the distance.
Gigantic Army of Invasion--Two troops of cavalry on a reconnaissance.
Overwhelming Force--A sergeant and a detail of twelve men.
Fierce Naval Battle--Mysterious sounds heard at sea.
Americans Outrageously Maltreated--One American asked to explain why his trunk contained maps of German roads.
Heroism--A failure of soldiers to run away in the face of danger.
Decisive Conflict--A skirmish of outposts.
A man with a look of business on his face came to a hotel-keeper, and asked him if he would buy two carloads of frogs' legs.
"Two carloads!" said the man in amazement. "Why, I could not use them in twenty years!"
A few days later the man returned with three pairs of legs. "Is that all?" asked the landlord.
"Yes; the fact is that I live near a pond, and the frogs made so much noise that I thought there were millions of them. But I dragged the pond with a seine, drained it and raked it, and there were only three frogs in the whole place."--_Life_.
A certain young society man was much given to telling exaggerated stories and was rapidly gaining a reputation for untruthfulness which worried his friends and particularly his chum, who remonstrated with him and threatened to disown him if he did not mend his ways.