Enough.... Enough.... Where is Capesius? You I implore ... ye forces all unknown.... Where is Capesius? Where is ... myself?
(Enter Benedictus. Capesius does not notice him at first. Benedictus touches him on the shoulder.)
I learned that thou didst wish to speak with me, And so I came to seek thee in thy home.
Right good it is of thee to grant my wish. Yet it had scarce been possible that thou Shouldst find me in worse case than now I am. That I am not this moment on the ground Prostrate before thy feet, after such pain As even now hath racked my soul, I owe To thy kind glance alone which sought mine own, So soon as thou didst with thy gentle touch Arouse me from the horrors of my dream.
I am aware that I have found thee now Fighting a battle for thy very life. Since I have known full well this long time past That thus it was appointed us to meet. Prepare to change the sense of many words If thou wouldst understand my speech aright And do not marvel that thy present pain Bears in my language quite another name-- I call thy state good fortune.
Then indeed Thou dost but heap the measure of the woe Which casts me into gloom's abysmal depths. Just now I felt as if my real self Had flown afar to cosmic distances, And unfamiliar beings through its sheaths Were speaking here. But this I took to be Hallucination, spirit mockery, And mourned that thus my soul could be deceived: This thought alone kept me from breaking down. Take not away my right thus to believe, The only prop I lean on; tell me not My fevered dreaming was good fortune; else I shall be lost indeed.
A man can lose Nought else but that which keeps him separate From cosmic being. When he seems to lose That which in dreamy fantasies of thought He misapplied to labours purposeless, Then let him seek for what has gone from him. For he will surely find it, and withal The proper use to which it should be put In human life. Mere words of comfort now Were nothing more than clever play on words.
Nay--lore that may by simple human wit Be comprehended thou dost not impart. Bitter experience has shown me this. Like deeds which lead one on to lofty heights And also cast one to abysmal depths, Thy counsels pour a stream of fiery life And also deathly chill into men's souls. They work at once e'en as the nod of fate And also as a storm of living love. Much had I sought and thought in earlier days Before I met thee; yet the spirit's powers, Creative and destructive, I have learned Only since I have followed in thy steps. The turmoil and confusion of my soul, Caused by thy words, was evident when thou Didst come within my chamber. Oft I felt Much pain whilst reading in thy book of life, Until today my cup of woe was full. And so my agony of soul o'erflowed, Spilled by thy fateful words. Their meaning swept O'er all my soul unrecognized, and yet Like some elixir they revived my heart. In such wise wrought they in the magic worlds That all my clarity of sense was lost. Then ghostly phantoms made a mock of me, And words of import dark I seemed to hear Issue from my distraught tormented soul. I know that all the secrets thou dost guard For human souls may not be written down, But that the answer to men's doubts may be Revealed to each according to his need. So grant me that of which I stand in need; For verily I must indeed be told What robbed me of my senses and my wits And compassed me with magic's airy spells.