[_Here the car rounds a corner rather sharply, and he sits down again._
_The Mild Man (with a Mild Man's thirst for information_). What are those buildings over there with the chimney?
[_Here he is conscious of being furtively prodded in the back--but decides to take no notice._
_Driver_ (_rising as before_). Those buildings, Ladies and Gentlemen, are Chemical works for extracting iodine from seaweed. The seaweed, after being dried, is then boiled, and from the ash--
[_Here the Mild Man, who has been listening with much interest, is startled by receiving a folded piece of paper, which it passed up to him from behind._
_The M.M._ (_to himself, as he reads the message_). "Keep the Driver quiet. He is drunk." Good Gracious! I never noticed--and yet--dear me, I hope they don't expect _me_ to interfere!
_The Timid Lady_ (_to the Driver_). For goodness sake never mind about iodine now--sit down and attend to your driving, like a good man!
_Driver_. You will thoroughly understand, my horses require _no_ attention. (_Sleepily._) No attention whatever. I assure you I am perfectly competent to drive this car and give you information going along at the same time. (_The car takes another corner rather abruptly._) Simply matter of habit. (_Gravely._) Matter'f habit!
_A Serious Exc._ (_in an undertone._) A very _bad_ habit, I'm afraid. It's really time somebody else took the reins from him!
_The M.M._ (_overhearing_). I'm afraid they mean me--I wish now I'd never touched the reins at all!
_Driver_. The Church we are now coming to, is St. Martin's, built in the year eleven 'undred.
_A Female Exc._ (_critically_). It _has_ got an old-fashioned look about it, certainly.
_A Male Exc._ There's nothing to see inside of these old churches. I went in one the other day, and I was looking up at the rafters, and I saw a sort o' picture there, and I said, "Ullo--they've been advertising Pears' Soap here, or something." But when I looked again, it was only an old fresco. I was so little interested I walked out without tipping the Verger!
_The Female Exc._ That Church we went to on Sunday evening is very old.
_The F.E._ Why, my dress was covered with bits of fluff out of the hassock!
_Driver._ The carved stone figure you see by the gate, is supposed to be a portrait of Julius Cæsar's Grandmother, and very like the old lady. (_The Excursionists nearest him smile in a sickly way, to avoid hurting his feelings, as the car moves on--to halt once more at Icart Point._) It is customary to alight here and go round the point, and I can assure you, Ladies and Gentlemen, the scenery is well worth your inspection and will give you a little idea of what the Island _is_.