Spruce As I was saying, I watched his quarrel from a distance, and when he finally left, I gave him a taste of my abilities as a porter. My zeal and flattery worked to such effect that he asked me to be his valet. I even recommended him this lodging--a place fit for the masterful projects I am hatching in my head. He ought to be here any minute.
Captain (amused) What masterful project are you hatching in that charming head of yours?
Spruce Fortune herself appeared to me--in total surrender. We can profit by this resemblance you bear to each other to obtain Flavella, and-- what's more important--your inheritance. Two birds with one stone.
Captain Yes, yes, we can. We shall, we will. But how?
Spruce Nothing could be easier. We'll trade off this bumpkin to Aunt Urania, you will get Miss Flavella, and more important, I will get Jenny.
Captain And how are we to put this brave plan into action?
Spruce First, you've got to change clothes, and dress like the heir apparent. Adopt his mannerisms, and the Devil will provide--
Captain Dress like an heir? My God, I don't know how. I've never been an heir before.
Spruce Act sad on first sight. Impose on the lawyer and get the money.
Captain I am a little uncomfortable about deceiving my brother.
Spruce What an idle and ridiculous delicacy! Risk nothing, gain nothing. Maybe you ought to protect him. With this money, he could do some good--only you don't give him a good character.
Captain If I want this inheritance, it's only for the sake of Flavella, whom I adore.
Spruce Of course. And if you don't get it, he will have her! Can you bear thinking of him kissing her?
Spruce But he was a fine brother, and you ought not to deceive him.
Captain He's a son of a bitch. He was always stealing my toys. That's it. I'll do it.
Captain I'll tell you what. Flavella doesn't look on me with indifference. Her father knows nothing of it, and, by good luck, has never seen me, because I've never taken the first step to ask for her hand. If I had, all my hopes would have been dashed, I am sure of it. Still, one thing holds me back.
Captain I've promised in writing to marry Urania.
Spruce Banish all thought of that engagement. If you were to marry all the women you've promised to marry, you would be a bigamist many times over. Now to work! You must dress like your brother. He's wearing mourning, a little frayed. His wig's a little different than yours, but you really don't need to change much. You must get into mourning, without wasting any time.
