ENTER C.D. MISS PRUNE (DIANA _disguised_).
MISS PRUNE. Pardon, madame. (_Bows low_) I believe I have the pleasure to address the young lady advertising for a stenographer.
ALICE (_aside_). I'm in for it again. I suppose this is the applicant. (_To_ MISS PRUNE) Yes, I have the painful privilege to inform you that before you is the woman who is in sore need of a helping hand.
MISS PRUNE. I wonder what good fortune directed my steps towards you. You see I was between two minds (_Sews_) whether to accept this position----
MISS PRUNE. ...--or whether to take that of a secretary to a young man. But I said to myself, if there is a woman, noble and upright enough to earn her own living without depending on mere man, it is my duty as one of her sex to plod along with her in her courageous career. So I refused the other position and came I to thee.
ALICE. But, my dear madam, I am afraid you did a foolish thing. Know you not that a secretary's position pays better than that of an office assistant? The latter is all I require.
MISS PRUNE. When you speak like that to me, you make the tears of sorrow gush forth from my eyes. (_Applies handkerchief to eyes; ALICE smiles_) Do you think money is the only thing worth while? Ah, no! (_Stands; very dramatically_) I care _nothing_ for money. It is to _help_ to do _something noble_ that I crave. (_Hand over heart_) It is here, _here_, that I feel that there will come a day when my name, Dewdrop Mehitable Prune, shall tremble on every lip. I shall be honored and obeyed. And (_To ALICE_) why will I be distinguished and honored? Because of my noble nature and willing ways. I should shrink from taking one penny of yours to pay me for services rendered you in your hour of need.
ALICE. I am afraid, then, that you have come to the wrong party. I am not great enough myself, never mind enabling you to attain your noble heights.
MISS PRUNE. Say no more about it. Here I am, and here I intend staying. Pay me what you will; but I shall continue to maintain this lofty position.
ALICE (_aside_). I fear she is crazy, but, I believe, harmless. (_To MISS PRUNE_) Would you mind if I inquired of you your accomplishments?
MISS PRUNE. My talents are varied. I am well versed in literature and consider myself a girl of wide erudition. I can perform a little on the harp and piano. My voice----