SCENE 1.--Printing House Square, by moonlight. A policeman on duty. Clank of the steampress heard amid the silence, and distant plash of the river. Coronetted carriage driven hastily in. Beautiful and fashionable lady, in opera costume, alights. Her agitation. "_He must be saved._" She dashes hastily into the building. Policeman saunters up and examines arms on carriage, and the next moment is recognised by the flunkey. "_Ha! my Lord._" "_Silence, my faithful_ JEEMES." Resumes his walk. Lights seen along a passage--mysterious lady is being conducted to the EDITORIAL CHAMBER!
SCENE 2.--The Strand. Meeting of two Reporters, one coming up from the House of Commons, the other going down. "_Likely to sit?_" "_Another hour--Irish row._" "_Bless those Irish!_" "_Amen._" They part--_exit_ Reporter to the House. The other lights a cigar, and three ruffians spring out upon him. They have long Macintosh coats, but beneath the disguise is seen the glittering uniform of the Guards. "_You bring the wepawt of_ LORD NAMBY MACPAMBY'S _Speech_!" "_I have._" "_Hand it over._" "_With my life only._" They seize him, but he dashes his cigar into the face of the first, and wrestles with the second, but would be over-mastered by the third, when the latter is dashed to the earth. Two run away, the last is prisoner. "_But, who is my preserver?_" "_Sir, I am but a numble actor, but you were once kyind to me in a notice of my_ Clown _in the Pantermine, and, believe me, Sir, kyindness is like the gentle jew from eaven, which droppeth, &c._" They drag the prisoner beneath a lamp. "THE RIGHT HONOURABLE THE MARQUIS OF HAUGHTYCASTLE! _Ha, minion!_" "_Nay, let him go--my numble Friend. I know the game._ A LADY'S SECRET."
SCENE 3.--Same as first. Beautiful woman comes out in tears. "_He was most courteous, but firm as the monumental adamant._" She enters the carriage, and throws herself sobbing on the cushion. Policeman springs in after her, and seating himself opposite, throws his bull's-eye full on her face. "_My husband!_" "_Aye, wrrrretched woman. Drive on_, JEEMES." (In a voice of thunder.) "HOME!" (With intense irony,) "_Your_ home, Madam; yours, _once loved_ CORONETTINA."
The House of Commons. Very full. Cries of "_Order, order!_" Clamour increases, and no one can be heard. Fifty Members on their legs, trying to speak. LORD JOHN RUSSELL springs upon the table and gesticulates violently; but all that can be heard from him, is "_Obleege_," and "_Constitution_." MR. DISRAELI dashes his hand furiously upon the Green Box, which gives way, and all his oranges roll out. Scramble and comic business. LORD NAMBY MACPAMBY rises; dressed in the extreme of fashion, and also extremely tipsy. Terrific cries of "_Spoke, spoke!_" The Chairman of Committees falls on his knees and pleads for silence, but sinks beneath the volley of blue books, votes, and bills, instantly hurled at him from all the Members. Suddenly the SPEAKER rushes in, seizes the mace, and lays about him on every side. Members are knocked over one another. Tremendous confusion! Fights!--and Curtain.
