[G] Captain of the Asia man of war, who cannonaded the city.--_Freneau's note._
[I] A cant phrase among privateers men.--_Freneau's note._
[J] A noted Inn-holder in New-York.--_Ib._ "Black Sam."--_Ed. 1786._
As matters have gone, it was plainly a blunder, But then I expected the Whigs must knock under, And I always adhere to the sword that is longest, And stick to the party that's like to be strongest: That you have succeeded is merely a chance, I never once dreamt of the conduct of France!-- If alliance with her you were promised--at least You ought to have showed me your Star in the East, Nor let me go off uninformed as a beast. When your army I saw without stockings or shoes, Or victuals--or money, to pay them their dues, (Excepting your wretched Congressional paper, That stunk in my nose like the smoke of a taper, A cart load of which for a dram might be spent all, That damnable bubble the old Continental, That took people in at this wonderful crisis, With its mottoes and emblems, and cunning devices; Which, bad as it was, you were forced to admire, And which was, in fact, the pillar of fire, To which you directed your wandering noses, Like the Jews in the desert conducted by Moses) When I saw them attended with famine and fear, Distress in their front, and Howe in their rear; When I saw them for debt incessantly dunned, Not a shilling to pay them laid up in your fund; Your ploughs at a stand, and your ships run ashore-- When this was apparent (and need I say more?) I handled my cane, and I looked at my hat, And cryed--"God have mercy on armies like that!" I took up my bottle, disdaining to stay, And said--"Here's a health to the Vicar of Bray," And cocked up my beaver, and--strutted away.
Ashamed of my conduct, I sneaked into town, (Six hours and a quarter the sun had been down) It was, I remember, a cold frosty night, And the stars in the firmament glittered as bright As if (to assume a poetical stile) Old Vulcan had give them a rub with his file. 'Till this cursed night, I can honestly say, I ne'er before dreaded the dawn of the day; Not a wolf or a fox that is caught in a trap E'er was so ashamed of his nightly mishap-- I couldn't help thinking what ills might befall me, What rebels and rascals the British would call me, And how I might suffer in credit and purse, If not in my person, which still had been worse: At length I resolved (as was surely my duty) To go for advice to parson Auchmuty;[L] The parson, who now I hope is in glory, Was then upon earth, and a terrible[224] tory, Not Cooper[M] himself, of ideas perplext, So nicely could handle and torture a text, When bloated with lies, through his trumpet he sounded The damnable sin of opposing a crowned head; Like a penitent sinner, and dreading my fate, In the grey of the morning I knocked at his gate; (No doubt he was vexed that I roused him so soon, For his saintship was mostly in blankets 'till noon.) At length he approached in his vestments of black-- (Alas, my poor heart! it was then on the rack, Like a man in an ague, or one to be tried; I shook--and recanted, and blubbered, and sighed) His gown, of itself, was amazingly big, Besides, he had on his canonical wig, And frowned at a distance; but, when I came near, Looked pleasant and said--"What, Hugh, are you here! "Your heart, I am certain, is horribly hardened, "But if you confess--your sin will be pardoned; "In spite of my preachments, and all I could say, "Like the prodigal son, you wandered away, "Now tell me, dear penitent, which is the best, "To be with the rebels, pursued and distrest, "Devoid of all comfort, all hopes of relief, "Or else to be here, and partake the king's beef? "More people resemble the snake than the dove, "And more are converted by terror than love: "Like a sheep on the mountains, or rather a swine, "You wandered away from the ninety and nine: "Awhile at the offers of mercy you spurned, "But your error you saw, and at length have returned: "Our Master will therefore consider your case, "And restore you again to favour and grace, "Great light shall arise from utter confusion, "And rebels shall live to lament their delusion." "Ah, rebels! (said I) they are rebels indeed-- "Chastisement, I hope, by the king is decreed: "They have hung up his subjects with bed-cords and halters, "And banished his prophets, and thrown down his altars. "And I--even I--while I ventured to stay, "They sought for my life--to take it away! "I therefore propose to come under your wing, "A foe to rebellion--a slave to the king."
