_Brown Minimus._ Please sir, I'd eat it before they asked for it?
A POINT UNSETTLED IN HISTORY.--_Lucy_ (_to her elder sister who has just been relating a thrilling episode in the life of William Tell_). And was the little boy allowed to _eat_ the apple afterwards?
MASTER TOMMY'S RECEIPTS.--(_Household ginger beer._)--Empty the kitchen spice-box, two pounds of washing soda, a pint of petroleum, and all the wine left in the dining-room decanters over night, into the cistern, and stir freely in the dark with a mop from the staircase window. When the water comes in in the morning, the whole household will be supplied from every tap for four-and-twenty hours with capital ginger beer.
IN DISTRESS.--Mummy! Mummy! Come back! I'm frightened. Here's a horrid dog _staring at me with his teeth_.
[Illustration: _Child_ (_in berth of night steamer_). "Mummy, I'm so sleepy. I want to go to bed." _Mother._ "But you _are_ in bed dear." _Child._ "No, I'm not. I'm in a chest of drawers!"]
[Illustration: THE FORCE OF EXAMPLE.--(_This is the second time that Madge has pricked her finger--the first time it bled so much that mamma felt quite faint, and had to drink a glass of sherry; now it's Jack's turn_). _Mamma._ "Well, what's the matter with _you_, Jack?" _Jack._ "Oh! I feel rather _faint_, that's all. _Is there such a thing as a bun in the house?_"]
[Illustration: THE FESTIVE SEASON.--_Tommy_ (_criticising the menu of the coming feast_). "Very good! Tray bong! And look here, old man! Mind you put plenty of rum into the _baba_--Dolly and Molly like it, you know--and so do I!" _Monsieur Cordonbleu_ (_retained for the occasion_). "Certainement, mon p'tit ami! But are you and ces demoiselles going to dine viz de compagnie?" _Tommy._ "Oh nong! But just ain't we going to sit on the stairs outside, that's all!"]
[Illustration: AT THE ZOO.--_Little Girl_ (_after seeing many queer beasts_). "But there aren't _really_ such animals, nurse, are there?"]
[Illustration: AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY.--_Uncle George._ "Don't over-eat yourself, Jimmy, my boy. I never did when I was your age." _Jimmy_ (_sotto voce_). "When did you begin, then?"]
_Bobby_ (_who sees his mamma in evening dress for the first time, and doesn't like it_). "I'll write and tell papa!"]