_Scrub._ You lie, you lie:--'tis the common people, such as you are, that are civilest to strangers.
_Gip._ Sirrah, I have a good mind to--Get you out, I say!
_Gip._ You won't, sauce-box!--Pray, doctor, what is the captain's name that came to your inn last night?
_Scrub._ The captain! ah, the devil, there she hampers me again;--the captain has me on one side, and the priest on t'other:--So between the gown and the sword, I have a fine time on't.
_Scrub._ No, my dear, I won't march--but I'll walk:--And I'll make bold to listen a little too. [_Goes behind the Side Scene, and listens._
_Gip._ Indeed, doctor, the count has been barbarously treated, that's the truth on't.
_Foig._ Ah, Mrs. Gipsey, upon my shoul, now, gra, his complainings would mollify the marrow in your bones, and move the bowels of your commiseration; he veeps, and he dances, and he fistles, and he swears, and he laughs, and he stamps, and he sings: in conclusion, joy, he's afflicted, _à la François_, and a stranger, would not know whider to cry or to laugh with him.
_Gip._ What would you have me do, doctor?
_Foig._ Nothing, joy, but only hide the count in Mrs. Sullen's closet, when it is dark.
_Gip._ Nothing! Is that nothing? it would be both a sin and a shame, doctor.
_Foig._ Here is twenty Louis d'ors, joy, for your shame; and I will give you an absolution for the shin.
_Gip._ But won't that money look like a bribe?
_Foig._ Dat is according as you shall take it--If you receive the money before hand, 'twill be _logicè_, a bribe; but if you stay till afterwards, 'twill be only a gratification.
_Gip._ Well, doctor, I'll take it _logicè_----But what must I do with my conscience, sir?
_Foig._ Leave dat wid me, joy; I am your priest, gra; and your conscience is under my hands.
_Gip._ But should I put the count into the closet--
_Foig._ Vell, is dere any shin for a man's being in a closhet? one may go to prayers in a closhet.
_Gip._ But if the lady should come into her chamber and go to bed?
_Foig._ Vel, and is dere any shin in going to bed, joy?
_Gip._ Ah, but if the parties should meet, doctor?
_Foig._ Vel den----the parties must be responsible.--Do you begone after putting the count in the closhet; and leave the shins wid themselves--I will come with the count to instruct you in your chamber.