"Do you know where Johnny Locke lives, my little boy?" asked a gentle-voiced old lady.
"He aint home, but if you give me a penny I'll find him for you right off," replied the lad.
"All right, you're a nice little boy. Now where is he?"
"From each according to his ability, to each according to his need," would seem to be the principle of the Chinese storekeeper whom a traveler tells about. The Chinaman asked $2.50 for five pounds of tea, while he demanded $7.50 for ten pounds of the same brand. His business philosophy was expressed in these words of explanation: "More buy, more rich--more rich, more can pay!"
In a New York street a wagon loaded with lamp globes collided with a truck and many of the globes were smashed. Considerable sympathy was felt for the driver as he gazed ruefully at the shattered fragments. A benevolent-looking old gentleman eyed him compassionately.
"My poor man," he said, "I suppose you will have to make good this loss out of your own pocket?"
"Well, well," said the philanthropic old gentleman, "hold out your hat--here's a quarter for you; and I dare say some of these other people will give you a helping hand too."
The driver held out his hat and several persons hastened to drop coins in it. At last, when the contributions had ceased, he emptied the contents of his hat into his pocket. Then, pointing to the retreating figure of the philanthropist who had started the collection, he observed: "Say, maybe he ain't the wise guy! That's me boss!"
"Johnny," said his teacher, "if coal is selling at $6 a ton and you pay your dealer $24 how many tons will he bring you?"
"A little over three tons, ma'am," said Johnny promptly.
"Why, Johnny, that isn't right," said the teacher.
"No, ma'am, I know it ain't," said Johnny, "but they all do it."
Wanted--A housekeeping man by a business woman. Object matrimony.
Camp life is just one canned thing after another.
"When I first decided to allow the people of Tupelo to use my name as a candidate for Congress, I went out to a neighboring parish to speak," said Private John Allen recently to some friends at the old Metropolitan Hotel in Washington.
"An old darky came up to greet me after the meeting. 'Marse Allen,' he said, 'I's powerful glad to see you. I's known ob you sense you was a babby. Knew yoh pappy long befo' you-all wuz bohn, too. He used to hold de same office you got now. I 'members how he held dat same office fo' years an' years.'