It is a kind of fair, full of stalls, wares, and shopkeepers: in which the theologist sells his stuff, which at the same time supplies food and warmth. The critic disposes of his cobweb linen and transparent lawn, of no shelter from the cold. The philologist, his embroidered vests, Corinthian vases, and Phrygian marble. The physician letters and syllables. The lawyer, men. The antiquary, old shoes. The alchymist, himself. The poet, smoke. The orator, paint. The historian, fame--and the philosopher, heaven and earth.
What are the most rare animals in the world?
A rich man contented with his fortune. A man distinguished by genius and not by defects. A courtier grown old. A learned man who knows himself. A virgin who is beautiful to every body but herself. A prime minister who possesses honesty; who has the interest of his country, not that of himself or his associates, at heart.
Good Sense is his father, Truth his grandfather, and Mirth and Good Humour are his chosen companions.
An impertinent petit-maitre told a country gentleman in a coffeehouse at the west end of the town that he looked like a groom. "I am one," replied he, "and am ready to rub down _an ass_."
_Curious slip-slop!_--The three wives of a knight, a physician, and a justice, were one evening engaged in a social game of questions and commands; and, according to the custom of the game, the first began, "I love my love with an N because he is a k-night!" The second in the same terms confessed her partiality for an F, because he was a physician! and the third avowed a similar regard for a G, because he was a justice!
_Specific for blindness._--A quack doctor in the neighbourhood of York, who advertises a universal specific for the ills of mankind, adds, that he attends to communications by letter, "but it is necessary that persons afflicted with the loss of sight should _see_ the doctor."
A stage-struck youth lately called upon Mr. K, at his residence not far from Bloomsbury-square, and applied for an engagement. The manager, after scrutinizing the various qualifications of the youthful candidate, inquired, "and pray sir, to what particular parts have your studies been directed? What is your forte?" "Why, sir, (replied the youth in a modest tone) I rather think that I excel in your line." "My line! (exclaimed the manager with peculiar complacency) what is that? What do you mean?" "To confess the truth, (rejoined the tyro) I flatter myself that I am most at home in _playing the tyrant_!"