"I am too happy," she murmured. But she was weeping, and the current of tears seemed to gather force as it flowed. What was little Ellen thinking of just then? Oh, those times gone by! when she had sat just so; her head pillowed on another as gentle breast; kind arms wrapped round her, just as now; the same little, old double-gown; the same weak, helpless feeling; the same committing herself to the strength and care of another; how much the same, and, oh! how much not the same! and Ellen knew both. Blessing, as she did, the breast on which she leaned, and the arms whose pressure she felt, they yet reminded her sadly of those most loved and so very far away; and it was an odd mixture of relief and regret, joy and sorrow, gratified and ungratified affection, that opened the sluices of her eyes. Tears poured.
"What is the matter, my love?" said Alice, softly.
"Are you so glad to see me? or so sorry? or what is it?"
"Oh, glad and sorry both, I think!" said Ellen, with a long breath, and sitting up.
"Have you wanted me so much, my poor child?"
"I cannot tell you how much," said Ellen, her words cut short.
"And didn't you know that I have been sick, too? What did you think had become of me? Why, Mrs. Vawse was with me a whole week, and this is the very first day I have been able to go out. It is so fine to-day, I was permitted to ride Sharp down."
"Was that it?" said Ellen. "I did wonder, Miss Alice I did wonder very much why you did not come to see me, but I never liked to ask Aunt Fortune, because "
"I don't know as I ought to say what I was going to; I had a feeling she would be glad about what I was sorry about."
"Don't know _that_ you ought to say," said Alice. "Remember, you are to study English with me."
"And you have had a weary two weeks of it, haven't you, dear?"
"Oh," said Ellen, with another long-drawn sigh, "how weary! Part of that time, to be sure, I was out of my head; but I have got _so_ tired lying here all alone; Aunt Fortune coming in and out, was just as good as nobody."
"Poor child!" said Alice, "you have had a worse time than I."
"I used to lie and watch that crack in the door, at the foot of my bed," said Ellen, "and I got so tired of it I hated to see it; but when I opened my eyes I couldn't help looking at it, and watching all the little ins and outs in the crack, till I was as sick of it as could be; and that button too, that fastens the door, and the little round mark the button has made, and thinking how far the button went round. And then, if I looked towards the windows, I would go right to counting the panes, first up and down, and then across and I didn't want to count them, but I couldn't help it; and watching to see through which pane the sky looked brightest. Oh! I got so sick of it all! There was only the fire that I didn't get tired of looking at; I always liked to lie and look at that, except when it hurt my eyes. And oh! how I wanted to see you, Miss Alice! You can't think how sad I felt that you didn't come to see me. I couldn't think what could be the matter."