The cruel captain far outdid The yaks and crimes of Robert Kid.
He oft would whale Jack with the cat, And say, "My buck, doe you like that?
"What makes you stag around so, say? The catamounts to something, hey?"
Then he would seal it with an oath, And say: "You are a lazy sloth!
"I'll starve you down, my sailor fine, Until for beef and porcupine!"
And, fairly horse with fiendish laughter, Would say, "Henceforth, mind what giraffe ter!"
In short, the many risks he ran Might well a llama braver man;
Then he was wrecked and castor shore While feebly clinging to anoa;
Hyena cleft among the rocks He crept, _sans_ shoes and minus ox.
And when he fain would go to bed, He had to lion leaves instead.
Then Sue would say, with troubled face, "How koodoo live in such a place?"
And straightway into tears would melt, And say, "How badger must have felt!"
While he, the brute, woodchuck her chin, And say, "Aye-aye, my lass!" and grin.
Excuse these steers.... It's over now; There's naught like grief the hart can cow.
Jackass'd her to be his, and she-- She gave Jackal, and jilted me.
And now, alas! the little minks Is bound to him with Hymen's lynx.
While upon the subject of puns, we might quote the following, clipped from the "Graphic":
"On being consulted about it Spikes says that Uncle Sam aunticipates the transfer of the Indian Bureau to some mother department, and if this should father improve the condition of the children of the forest, in sondry ways, by cousin them to be more comfortable, it would be a niece arrangement and daughter be made." We are inclined, in nephew instances, to agree with the gramma, but not the spelling.
The "Graphic" is also responsible for the following English stanza transformed into Russian, said to have been found in a room after it had been vacated by Alexis while in this country. It is introduced as an example of how "she can be oddly wrote":
"Owata jollitimiv ad Sinci tooklevov mioldad! Owata merricoviv bin-- Ivespenta nawful pilovtin! Damsorri tolevami now, But landigoshenjingo vow, Thetur kishwar mustavastop Gotele graphitoff topop."
The following clever paraphrase of the old rhythmic story of "Jack's House" is a good illustration of the scope and flexibility of our language, and suggests the fact that tautological errors of writing need seldom be committed.