No guest should ever accept an invitation to an entertainment, a drive, or any other amusement without first consulting with her hostess. If, having friends in the same city or town, she has invitations from them for special occasions, she should inform her hostess of them promptly, that two plans may not be made for the same date.
Unless a guest is ill or very old and feeble, she never suggests retiring. That is the duty of the hostess.
A guest should take pains to arrive when expected. If she has promised a visit, she should keep her promise, unless matters of serious illness or grave moment forbid it, in which case a prompt and explanatory apology is imperative.
The guest should decide with her hostess, early in her stay, upon the date of her departure, if that has not been already settled in the form of the invitation, and should then abide rigidly by it, allowing nothing but the most earnest importunity on the part of her hostess personally, and for clearly shown and newly arising reasons, to detain her longer.
The guest should be pleased and well entertained with everything that is done for her amusement, or should appear to be so. If she cannot give herself up to the enjoyment of the sort of entertainment which her host and hostess provide, she should not accept the invitation to visit them.
The guest should be punctual at meals and conform in every particular to the ways of the household. She should not arrive in the living-room or drawing-room at hours when there will be none to entertain her, and when it would embarrass her hostess to know that she was unattended. To sit up after the family has gone to bed, to lie in bed after the entire family have risen, to be late at meals, to be writing an important letter or doing some mending when the carriage is at the door for a drive, or wish to go to drive when the carriage has been dismissed, to be too tired to attend the dinner or reception given in one's honor, to fail to keep appointments for the stroll or some sport because one wants to do something else,--these things show a total lack of consideration on the part of the guest, and make it impossible to enjoy her stay or wish for her return.
At times which seem appropriate it is well to retire to one's room and leave the family by themselves. It is not necessary for the family life and comfort to be sacrificed constantly to the guest. Hospitality would be more generously shown if it did not make so many unnecessary demands upon the time and comfort of the members of the family.