Pray be careful also not to make the toilettes so expensive as to be a strain upon the means of your young friends. You may, of course, if your means or those of your family permit, pay for their whole outfit or for certain portions, such as hats or gloves. But this is not customary, although it is occasionally done by a bride rich in this world’s gear.
Should a young woman give a luncheon or a dinner to her bridesmaids? The idea of thus gathering her mates around her for the last time before she enters upon a new, joyous, and yet serious phase of her life is a very happy one, provided always that the occasion does not furnish the proverbial last straw of the camel’s load. The preparations for a modern church wedding are so many and so extensive that a bride may go to the altar utterly worn out and looking not her best, but her worst. Her mother should certainly guard a daughter very carefully against over-fatigue; but in many cases she obviously does not. To the bridegroom the parade and show are usually extremely distasteful, and he only submits to them because he cannot help himself. He goes through the trying ordeal in the spirit of the good knights of old, that he may win his “dear ladye” for his own. We cannot, therefore, advise our bride to give a bridesmaids’ luncheon if she is already wearied by many tasks. In this case we should advise the substitution of an afternoon tea, to which she may, if she pleases, invite the groom, best man, and ushers. Perhaps, however, she is so fortunate as to have relatives and friends who will take the brunt of the fatigue, or, if she is rich, clever and experienced women can be hired to assist her.
If she decides to give a luncheon, she should select a day near enough that of the wedding to give a certain thrill to the occasion, and yet not so near as to make these great events seem to crowd one upon the other. Should the bridesmaids live at a distance, and come to the home-town of their friend on purpose to attend the wedding, it may be necessary to have the lunch take place only two or three days in advance. A week is a better interval, however. Should there be some young friend who is unable to serve as a bridesmaid—on account of family mourning, lameness, or some similar drawback—the bride may like to include her in the invitations. The bridesmaids do not appear in any special costume, but wear the same sort of dress as at any lunch, retaining their hats unless the bride asks them to remove them. The latter wears a pretty house dress suitable for the afternoon. The luncheon may be a handsome affair or simple and inexpensive, as the young hostess finds convenient. She or a friend may like to paint the place-cards, which should have devices appropriate to the occasion. True-lovers’ knots, Cupids, hearts and darts are always in order. Pink is a favorite color for the decorations, green and white also having a pretty effect.