"No, no! Wait half a minute while I think of something to say. How shall I begin? Shall I----"
"Oh, the usual sort of greeting from a husband to a wife: 'Good morning, little bunch of fluff!' Or, 'Cheeroh, beloved armful!' Any pet name--look here, you'd better let me----"
A confused sound hinted to Mrs. Peters that a struggle for the receiver was in progress. It ended speedily in a victory for Mr. Bangs. His voice quavered a number--"Bloomsbury, 843B." Mrs. Peters made a mental note.
"Hello ... hello ... are you 843B? Yes?... Who's that? _Hello!_ Who's that? Oh, it's you, Jane ... tell your mistress--_hello_! You silly girl, it _is_ me." ("She's had a fright, Mr. Wild. I ought to have broken the news more gently.") "What? Do speak up ... yes ... yes ... you've sat down on the porcelain bowl on the hall table? Confound!... what for? What _for_, you clumsy ... oh! I frightened you ... oh ... oh ... I see.... Well, go on.... Yes ... no, perhaps it wasn't altogether your fault ... yes.... All right ... all right, that's quite enough. I know you're sorry ... yes.... Tell your mistress I want to speak to her.... She's in the kitchen? Well, go and fetch her. Don't hang the receiver up. Yes ... yes....
"The plot thickens, Bangs, I say, shall I take the receiver and telephone? Rather a lark, you know, your wife expecting you and hearing me instead."
"I won't address her in terms of affection, if that's all you're afraid of. Besides, I should rather like to hear what she says to her peccant husband."
"Not for anything, Mr. Wild.... Hush! here she is.... Is that you, Alicia? _Wheeee! Wheee!_... I'm exceedingly sorry, my dear ... no, I wasn't laughing--something wrong with the wire.... Well, how are you?... That's good ... I do hope you haven't been worrying.... What?... Oh ... oh ... ah...." ("She says I'm not worth worrying about!" "Cover it UP, you fool! She'll hear you!") ... "Eh?... no ... nobody else here, my love ... quite alone--quite alone ... the wire...." ("What's that? Magnetic storm?") ... "Magnetic storm, Alicia! Plug's not firmly in, perhaps.... Well, you're all right, then? Anything else?... Oh, _me_! Oh, I'm in capital form.... What?... Yes, that's all.... What?... Oh, I thought I'd better ring up to let you know how I was getting on.... Yes ... yes ... I shall come back presently.... No ... no ... _absolutely_ no.... I can't possibly tell you my present address ... but you needn't worry. I'm _quite_ all right ... eh?... No ... I'm not unfeeling--this is just my holiday. I shall be back in a few weeks. I send you my love. Good-by."