He had the honour of passing the night with a French guard, and the next day was dismissed. Proceeding on his journey, he fell in with a detachment of German Chasseurs. They demanded his name, quality, and business. He came he said to dance, and to sing, and to dress. "He is a Frenchman," said the corporal--"A spy!" cries the sergeant. He was directed to mount behind a dragoon, and carried to the camp.
There he was soon discharged; but not without a word of advice. "We Germans," said the officer, "eat, drink, and smoke: these are our favourite employments; and had you informed the dragoons you followed no other business, you would have saved them, me, and yourself, infinite trouble."
He soon approached the Prussian dominions, where his examination was still more strict; and on answering that his only designs were to eat, and to drink, and to smoke--"To eat! and to drink! and to smoke!" exclaimed the officer with astonishment. "Sir, you must he forwarded to Postdam--war is the only business of mankind." The acute and penetrating Frederick soon comprehended the character of our traveller, and gave him a passport under his own hand. "It is an ignorant, an innocent Englishman," says the veteran; "the English are unacquainted with military duties; when they want a general they borrow him of me."
At the barriers of Saxony he was again interrogated. "I am a soldier," said our traveller, "behold the passport of the first warrior of the age."--"You are a pupil of the destroyer of millions," replied the sentinel, "we must send you to Dresden; and, hark'e, sir, conceal your passport, as you would avoid being torn to pieces by those whose husbands, sons, and relations have been wantonly sacrificed at the shrine of Prussian ambition." A second examination at Dresden cleared him of suspicion.
Arrived at the frontiers of Poland, he flattered himself his troubles were at an end; but he reckoned without his host.
"Your business in Poland?" interrogated the officer.
"Not know your own business, sir!" resumed the officer; "I must conduct you to the Starost."
"For the love of God," said the wearied traveller, "take pity on me. I have been imprisoned in Holland for being desirous to keep my own affairs to myself;--I have been confined all night in a French guard-house, for declaring myself a merchant;--I have been compelled to ride seven miles behind a German dragoon, for professing myself a man of pleasure;--I have been carried fifty miles a prisoner in Prussia, for acknowledging my attachment to ease and good living;--I have been threatened with assassination in Saxony, for avowing myself a warrior. If you will have the goodness to let me know how I may render such an account of myself as not to give offence, I shall ever consider you as my friend and protector."