Here her voice grew tremulous, and her utterance half convulsive.
"I do not scruple to say so much now, because in the condition in which I am--I know I am--I am dying, and that is all about it;--in that condition, I say, no scruples prevent me uttering what otherwise I should be ashamed to own, because, with my feet almost in the grave, I feel secure against any imputations which else the world might bring against me. But, having almost done with the world, and feeling under no apprehension that anybody will look upon me in any other light than as a departing guest about to close the door upon her own back for ever, I am not ashamed to speak as a woman openly: for openly I must shortly speak before a far greater Being than any here."
Colin sat, with his eyes fixed on the ground, mute and motionless,--striving to divert his feelings by counting the pattern flowers on the carpet; but he could scarcely see them, his eyes were full. With difficulty he swallowed his grief as Miss Wintlebury continued, "To-night, now, I am unable to go through the exertion of pleasing those drunkards yonder, as usual. Nor is this the first warning I have had that the poor concert of my life is close upon its finale."
Accustomed as the young woman appeared to be to contemplate her own death within the little oratory of her own bosom, she yet displayed that feminine weakness of being unable to allude to it in words before another person without shedding tears.
"I hope, Miss," began Colin, but he could not get on,--"I hope, ma'am------"
"It is not for myself!" she exclaimed resolutely, and as though determined to outface those tears,--"no, not for myself. That is very little worth crying for, indeed."
She smiled with a ghastly expression of selfcontempt, and continued, "It is, sir, because I have it not in my power to repay you for your kindness to me. I must die in the debt of a stranger, for all help is now going from my hands. These few dresses and trinkets----"
And as she sobbed out the words she placed her hand upon a small heap of theatrical robes and decorations which lay beside her.
"These are all--and a very poor all they are--I have to repay you with, besides a buckle that I have here upon my band, which my mother gave me; and that I wish you to take off and keep when I am dead: but I must have it till then. I cannot part with it before."