_Mr. MacTear_. Is it not the case that the operatic tenor has been pronounced on good authority to be not a man but a disease?--The authority was a German conductor, who was presumably speaking of German tenors.
_Mr. MacTear_. Have you ever been down a coal-mine?--No; but I was presented with a diamond brooch by the diggers of Kimberley.
This is a song of the Tube-- Let us begin it By cursing the furies who fight and who bite ev'ry night To get in it; The folk who see red and who tread on the dead And climb over the slain, And who step on your face in the race for a place In the train.
The pack! The wolves who attack, Attempting to kill you until you Fall flat on your back; The tigers who tear at your-hair and who swear As they tread on your neck, Leaving you battered, bespattered and shattered, An absolute wreck.
From these sharks, These mild-looking typists and clerks, May Heaven defend you. They'll rend you--up-end you (I carry the marks), This meek-looking, sleek-looking, weak-looking clique With the Bolshevist brains Inflamed at the thought that they ought to have caught Much earlier trains.
Mourn For the hat that is flat And the collar of which you were shorn. Shed a tear for the dear little ear that you had And the bags which to rags have been torn. Weep for the fellow who tried but who died at your side As the tide swept along. He was a victim. They tricked him and kicked him to death, Though he'd done them no wrong.
This is a Song of the Tube. A ballad of sorrow, A grey sort of lay of To-day and a greyer To-morrow; A dismal, abysmal, chaotic, neurotic Creation Of one who was done after running a mile To the station.
[Illustration: _Munitionaire_. "I THINK I'LL MAKE A BID FOR THAT CHAP, MARIA, FOR A HALL-MAT AND STAIR-CARPET."]
"The next witness was Lord Dynevor. He said he had 8,270 acres of coal land in Carmarthenshire. His interest in the estate came to the family through one of three collieresses."
Even Mr. SMILLIE would admit that that ought to constitute an absolute title.
Man and the Universe--By Sir Oliver Lodge.
"It was essential for Great Britain that France should emerge from this war strong and able to defend herself. The recognition of this fact explains the change of British policy at Pars during the Wonference of Peace."--_The Times_.