The cold, grey dawn of the winter morning was stealing in at the windows as at last, sighing heavily, the governess lifted her head with a returning consciousness of her surroundings.
How dreary it all looked, in the dim, uncertain light! the disordered room, the fireless hearth--fit emblem, as it seemed, of the cold, almost dead heart within her.
Life was like a desert at that moment, a rough, weary road where thorns and briars constantly pierced her tired feet. Why should she stay? Why not lie down and rest in a quiet grave?
She rose slowly, stiff from the constrained posture, and dragged herself across the room. Opening her wardrobe door, she took from the shelf a vial labelled "laudanum." She held it a moment in her hand.
"It is only to go to sleep," she said, half aloud, "to go to sleep, and never wake again. Never? ah! if I could be sure, _sure_ of that!"
"'And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up forever and ever.' 'Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.'"
With a shudder, she put it hastily back, locked the door, and threw herself upon the bed.
"Oh, God, forgive me!" she cried, "keep me, keep me, or I shall do it yet! And then--forever and ever! No space for repentance, no coming back!"
At length tired nature found temporary relief in the heavy, dreamless slumber of utter exhaustion.
Hours passed, and still she slept on, hearing not, nor heeding the sounds of returning life in the household.
They were very late after their long night of revelry; breakfast was not on the table till ten o'clock, and even then no one answered the summons but the master of the house and Mildred.
The children had taken their morning meal two hours before.
"An unexpected pleasure, this, Milly, my dear," was Mr. Dinsmore's greeting.
"What, uncle, you did not surely expect me to be still in bed!"
"Well no; but I thought you would be looking fagged and worn; instead of which, your face is fresh and fair as a rose just washed with dew, and bright as the morning."
"And why not, if sufficient rest will do it?" she returned, laughingly. "I retired at twelve, and had my eight hours of sound, refreshing sleep."
"Ah, you are a wise little woman! too sensible to let late hours rob you of health and good looks, and make you old before your time. What is it Solomon says? 'Early to bed and early to rise?'"