Merry Christmas to you, although the news coming out of Deeper Life High School in Akwa Ibom is not merry. Earlier in the week, the news broke of an 11-year-old male student of the school, who was molested and maltreated by senior students. The principal had allegedly moved the victim from a junior students’ hostel to a hostel with mainly senior students, where the senior students inserted their fingers, toes and only God knows what else into the victim’s anus. Why the principal will make such a thoughtless decision beats me hollow. The mother of the victim in her viral video lamented that boarding house is no longer what it used to be. I understand her pains and frustration, but it is not true; cases of sexual abuse and maltreatment of younger students have always occurred in boarding schools, unfortunately. I was with a septuagenarian recently, who lost a former classmate. The major thing he remembered about his old schoolmate was his sexual abuse of a younger student in the 60s, which led to his expulsion. He later finished from another school and became a professor later in life before he died. Very few schools have been able to stamp out sex abuse, bullying and maltreatment of junior students, especially in the boarding house. The onus is actually on parents to decide on the school their child should attend and at what point the child should go to the boarding house. What factors should guide parents in making these decisions? I had written previously on this topic. The convenience and economic circumstances of some parents determine which school they send their children to and whether they go from home or stay in boarding. In truth, school-runs can be very disruptive and inconveniencing for parents whose children are day students. But ideally the needs, strength and overall personality of the child in question should guide parents in taking an informed decision. Many children start secondary school between ages 10 and 12. Our subject today is 11 years old. Where the child is outgoing, sociable and secure, sending him/her to the dormitory is a less difficult decision. Schools with good boarding arrangements teach children at an early age to be independent, disciplined and organized; they also teach them how to relate well with people of different backgrounds and orientations. They help to build long-lasting bonds that can come handy in the future. But if the child is introverted, insecure and vulnerable, you need to take your time and find out if the child is ready for the outside world without parental cover. You also need to consider the health status of your child before you send him/her to the dormitory. I will not encourage parents who have children with health challenges to send them to the dormitory, except the school has a high standard of care and excellent health facilities. Also if the child is bed-wetting, can he survive the taunts that will inevitably come from other students? If he has a rhino-thick skin, then he can go to the dormitory, but if he is very sensitive, maybe he needs to be a day student until he stops bed-wetting. The principal sent our subject matter to the senior hostel because he was bed-wetting. Was that meant to stop him from bed-wetting or to serve as a punishment? It is like throwing a sheep to a pack of wolves. The outcome is not surprising. When I started secondary in the 70s, many fresh students and even a few old students were still bed-wetting, so what is so strange or unusual about bed-wetting? It is just nature. Ultimately everyone outgrows it. The principal made a grievous error of judgment. That is shocking decision making. Doesn’t he have children? Don’t (didn’t) they bed-wet? Even if his children don’t (didn’t), he cannot be exonerated from blame. That is administrative ineptitude. Another factor parents must consider before sending their children to the boarding house are the looks of their male children. If your son is very attractive or feminine-looking, you really need to tutor him on how to resist predators that abound in some secondary schools. Our subject matter was a good-looking, chubby boy when he entered the school, although he was a bag of bones when the news broke out. Predators usually target good-looking and vulnerable young students. You might want to investigate whether such acts take place in your child’s would-be school, but experience has shown that when you bunch people of the same sex in an enclosed environment over time (be it school or prison) homosexual tendencies begin to emerge. It might not be obvious, but it is there. Thankfully, many of these youngsters outgrow it when they get older and start interacting with the opposite sex.