O, how can I speak without dread Who could my sad fortune abide? With one devil under my head, And another laid close on each side.
Here lie the bones of William Jones, Who when alive collected bones, But Death, that grisly bony spectre, That most amazing bone collector, Has boned poor Jones so snug and tidy, That here he lies in bonâ fide.
The late Rev. John Sampson, of Kendal. Sacrum
In memoriam viri doctissimi et clerici, Joannis Sampson, olim hujusce sacelli ministri, itemque ludi literarii apud Congalum triginta septem ferè annos magistri seduli; hoc marmor ponendum quidam discipulus præceptorem merens curavit. Ob: An: ætatis suæ LXXVII; A.D. MDCCCXLIII. Foris juxta januam e dextrâ introeunti sepultum est corpus. Problemata plurima geometrica proposuit ac solvit; ad hæc accedunt versus haud pauci, latinè et manu suâ scripti; quorum exemplum infrà insculptum est; adeo ut Christiano tum mentem, tum viri fidem cognoscere liceat.
“Quandocunque sophos clarus sua dogmata profert, “Nil valet αὐτòς ἔφη, ni documenta daret;” “At mihi cùm Christus loquitur, verum, via, vita, “Tum vero fateor sufficit αὐτòς ἔφη.”
Epitaph on the Mareschal Comte de Ranzan, a Swede, who accompanied Oxenstiern to Paris, and was taken into the French service by Louis XIII. He died of hydrophobia in 1650. He had been in innumerable battles, had lost an eye and two limbs, and his body was found to be entirely covered with scars.
Stop, passenger! this stone below Lies half the body of Ranzan: The other moiety’s scattered far And wide o’er many a field of war; For to no land the hero came, On which he shed not blood and fame. Mangled or maim’d each meaner part, One thing remain’d entire—his heart.
Here lie Two grandmothers, with their two granddaughters Two husbands with their two wives, Two fathers with their two daughters, Two mothers with their two sons, Two maidens with their two mothers, Two sisters with their two brothers. Yet but six corps in all lie buried here, All born legitimate, & from incest clear.
Two widows, that were sisters-in-law, had each a son, who married each other’s mother, and by them had each a daughter. Suppose one widow’s name Mary, and her son’s name John, and the other widow’s name Sarah, and her son’s James; this answers the fourth line. Then suppose John married Sarah, and had a daughter by her, and James married Mary, and had a daughter also, these marriages answer the first, second, third, fifth, and sixth lines of the epitaph.