What are now denominated _mince pies_ were formerly called _Christmas pies_. When John Bunyan, author of the Pilgrim’s Progress, was in Shrewsbury gaol for preaching and praying, a gentleman who knew his abhorrence of anything Popish, and wished to play upon his peculiarity, one 25th of December sent his servant to the poor puritan, and desired his acceptance of a large Christmas pie. John took little time to consider; but, seizing the pastry, desired the messenger to thank his master, and “Tell him,” added he, “I have lived long enough, and am now hungry enough, to know the difference between _Christmas_ and _pie_.”
A beautiful young lady having called out an ugly gentleman to dance with her, he was astonished at the condescension, and believing that she was in love with him, in a very pressing manner desired to know why she had selected him from the rest of the company, “Because, sir,” replied the lady, “my husband commanded me to select such a partner as should not give him cause for jealousy.”
A captain in the navy meeting a friend as he landed at Portsmouth point, boasted that he had left his whole ship’s company the happiest fellows in the world. “How so?” asked his friend. “Why, I have just flogged _seventeen_, and they are happy it is over; and all the rest are happy that they have escaped.”
The following anecdote is related of Sir Robert Walpole: Being afraid on one occasion that the bishops would vote against him in a question before the House of Lords, he induced the Archbishop of Canterbury to stay at home for two or three days, and circulated a report that his Grace was dangerously ill. On the day of meeting the house was crowded with lawn-sleeves, not one of which voted against the court!
In the suite of the Princess Amelia, aunt of George III., there was a lady of the name of Russell, grand-daughter of Oliver Cromwell, and who it would seem inherited, without any alloy, much of his undaunted and ready spirit. On 30th of January, she was occupied in adjusting some part of the princess’ dress, when the Prince of Wales (Frederick) came into the room and said, “For shame, Miss Russell, why have you not been at church humbling yourself for the sins of this day committed by your grandfather?” “Sir,” replied Miss Russell, “for a grand-daughter of Oliver Cromwell, it is humiliation sufficient to be employed as I am, in pinning up your sister’s train.”