_Mrs. Pomfr._ I really can't say _where_ he is, my dear. I sent up word to let him know he was welcome here whenever he pleased; but perhaps he's feeling a little shy about coming down.
_Phill._ Oh, I don't think he suffers much from _that_. (_As the door opens._) Ah, _there_ he is!
_Mrs. Pomfr._ (_rising, with dignity, to receive_ UNDERSHELL, _who enters in obvious embarrassment_). Come in, Sir. I'm glad to see you've found your way down at last. Let me see, I haven't the advantage of knowing your--Mr. UNDERSHELL, _to_ be sure! Well, Mr. UNDERSHELL, we're very pleased to see you. I hope you'll make yourself quite at home. Her ladyship gave particular directions that we was to look after you--_most_ particular she was!
_Undershell._ You are very good, Ma'am. I am obliged to Lady CULVERIN for her (_with a gulp_) condescension. But I shall not trespass more than a short time upon your hospitality.
_Mrs. Pomfr._ Don't speak of it as trespassing, Sir. It's not often we have a gentleman of your profession as a visitor, but you are none the less welcome. Now I'd better introduce you all round, and then you won't feel yourself a stranger. Miss PHILLIPSON you _have_ met, I know.
[_She introduces him to the others in turn_; UNDERSHELL _bows helplessly_.
_Steptoe (with urbanity)._ Your fame, Sir, has preceded you. And you'll find us a very friendly and congenial little circle on a better acquaintance--if this is your first experience of this particular form of society?
_Und. (to himself)._ I mustn't be stiff, I'll put them at their ease. (_Aloud._) Why, I must admit, Mr. STEPTOE, that I have never before had the privilege of entering the--(_with an ingratiating smile all round him_) the "Pugs' Parlour," as I understand you call this very charming room.
[_The company draw themselves up and cough in disapprobation._
_Stept. (very stiffly)._ Pardon _me_, Sir, you have been totally misinformed. Such an expression is not current _here_.
_Mrs. Pomfr. (more stiffly still)._ It is never alluded to in _my_ presence except as the 'Ousekeeper's Room, which is the right and proper name for it. There may be some other term for it in the Servants' 'All for anything _I_ know to the contrary--but if you'll excuse me for saying so, Mr. UNDERSHELL, we'd prefer for it not to be repeated in _our_ presence.