_Deplorable Result of the Forecast of Aug. 23 on the "D. G." Weather Girl._
[Illustration: FORECAST.--Fair, warmer. WARNINGS.--None issued. ACTUAL WEATHER.--Raining cats and dogs. _Moral._--Wear a mackintosh over your classical costume.]
"His Majesty King Grouse, noblest of game!" So toasted Host. Replied the Guest, with dryness,-- "I think that in _this_ house the fitter name Would be His Royal _Highness_!"
_House of Commons, Monday, August 20._--ASHMEAD-BARTLETT (Knight) is the CASABIANCA of Front Opposition Bench. All but he have fled. Now his opportunity; will show jealous colleagues, watchful House, and interested country, how a party should be led. Had an innings on Saturday, when, in favourite character of Dompter of British and other Lions, he worried Under Secretaries for Foreign Affairs and the Colonies. Didn't get much out of them. In fact what happened seems to confirm quaint theory SARK advances.
Says he believes those two astute young men, EDWARD GREY and SYDNEY BUXTON, "control" the Sheffield Knight. They are active and ambitious. Still only juniors. Moreover, things are managed so well both at Foreign Office and Colonial Office that they have no opportunity of distinguishing themselves. The regular representatives on the Front Opposition Bench of Foreign Affairs and Colonies say nothing; patriotically acquiescent in management of concerns in respect of which it is the high tradition of English statesmanship that the political game shall not be played. In such circumstances no opening for able young men. But, suppose they could induce some blatant, irresponsible person, persistently to put groundless questions, and make insinuations derogatory to the character of British statesmen at home and British officials abroad? Then they step in, and, amid applause on both sides of House, knock over the intruder. Sort of game of House of Commons nine-pins. Nine-pin doesn't care so that it's noticed; admirable practice for young Parliamentary Hands.
This is SARK'S suggestion of explanation of phenomenon. Fancy much simpler one might be found. To-night BARTLETT-ELLIS in better luck. Turns upon ATTORNEY-GENERAL; darkly hints that escape of JABEZ was a put-up job, of which Law Officers of the Crown might, an' they would, disclose some interesting particulars. RIGBY, who, when he bends his step towards House of Commons, seems to leave all his shrewdness and knowledge of the world in his chambers, rose to the fly; played BASHMEAD-ARTLETT'S obvious game by getting angry, and delivering long speech whilst progress of votes, hitherto going on swimmingly, was arrested for fully an hour.