Then Calot Leather-cap strongly pleads, And fain would derive the pedigree of fashion. The antipodes wear their shoes on their heads, And why may not we in their imitation? 20 Oh, how this football noddle would please, If it were but well tossed on S. Thomas his leas! But still she replied, 'Good sir, la-bee; If ever I have a man, Square-cap for me!'
Next comes the Puritan in a wrought-cap, With a long-waisted conscience towards a sister. And, making a chapel of ease of her lap, First he said grace and then he kissed her. 'Beloved,' quoth he, 'thou art my text.' Then falls he to use and application next; 30 But then she replied, 'Your text, sir, I'll be; For then I'm sure you'll ne'er handle me.'
But see where Satin-cap scouts about, And fain would this wench in his fellowship marry. He told her how such a man was not put out Because his wedding he closely did carry. He'll purchase induction by simony, And offers her money her incumbent to be; But still she replied, 'Good sir, la-bee; If ever I have a man, Square-cap for me!' 40
The lawyer's a sophister by his round-cap, Nor in their fallacies are they divided, The one milks the pocket, the other the tap; And yet this wench he fain would have brided. 'Come, leave these thread-bare scholars,' quoth he, 'And give me livery and seisin of thee.' 'But peace, John-a-Nokes, and leave your oration, For I never will be your impropriation; I pray you therefore, good sir, la-bee; For if ever I have a man, Square-cap for me!' 50
[_Square-Cap_ (_1647_) is one of the pleasantest of all Cleveland's poems. Its prosodic puzzle and profit have been indicated in the Introduction, and it might sometimes run more easily. But the thorough good-fellowship and _esprit de corps_ carry it off more than sufficiently. It would be pleasant to think that Mr. Samuel Pepys sang it on the famous occasion when he was 'scandalously over-served with drink' as an undergraduate. It had been printed only three years when he went up, though no doubt written earlier.]
[Line: 2 Cleveland has got the fount right here.]
[Lines: 13, 14 A most singular blunder in _1677_ (and the editions that follow it) shows that Cleveland's 'Vindicators' were by no means always attentive to his sense. It reads '_her_ grannam' and '_She_ shall have'--the exact effect of which, as an inducement to marry him, one would like to hear.]