_Appear ye fat Feinds that in Limbo do groan, That were when in Flesh the same souls with his own: You that always in Lucifers Kitchin reside, 'Mongst Sea-coal and Kettles, and Grease newly try'd: That pamper'd each day with a Garbidge of Souls, Broil Rashers of Fools for a Breakfast on Coals._
In the Epilogue you have the History of _Balaam_'s Ass exposed, and the Beast brought upon the _Stage_ to laugh at the Miracle the better;
_And as 'tis said a parlous Ass once spoke, When Crab-tree Cudgel did his rage provoke. So if you are not civil,----I fear He'el speak again.----_
In the second _Part_ the Devil is brought upon the _Stage_.[378] He cries as _he hopes to be Saved_. And _Sancho warrants him a good Christian_. Truly I think he may have more of Christianity in him than the Poet. For he trembles at that God, with whom the other makes Diversion.
I shall omit the mention of several outrages of this Kind, besides his deep mouth'd swearing, which is frequent, and pass on to the Second Head, which is His Abuse of the Clergy. And since Reveal'd Religion has been thus horribly treated, 'tis no Wonder if the _Ministers_ of it have the same Usage.
And here we are likely to meet with some passages extraordinary enough. For to give Mr. _Durfey_ his due, when he meddles with Church men he lays about him like a Knight Errant: Here his Wit and his Malice, are generally in extreams, tho' not of the same Kind. To begin. He makes the Curate _Perez_ assist at the ridiculous Ceremony of _Don Quixots_ Knighting.[379] Afterwards Squire _Sancho_ confessing his mistake to _Quixote_, tells him, _Ah consider dear Sir no man is born wise_. And what if he was born wise? He may be _Bred_ a Fool, if he has not a care. But how does he prove this Memorable Sentence? Because a _Bishop is no more than another man without Grace and Good Breeding_. I must needs say if the _Poet_ had any share of either of these Qualities, he would be less bold with his Superiors; and not give his Clowns the Liberty to droll thus heavily upon a solemn _Character_. This _Sancho_ Mr. _Durfey_ takes care to inform us is _a dry shrewd Country Fellow_, The reason of this Character is for the strength of it somewhat surprising.[380] 'Tis because _he blunders out Proverbs upon all Occasions, tho' never so far from the purpose_. Now if blundring and talking nothing to the purpose, is an argument of _Shrewdness_; some Peoples _Plays_ are very shrewd Performances. To proceed. _Sancho_ complains of his being married, because it hindred him from better offers. _Perez_ the Curate is sorry for this Misfortune. _For as I remember_ says he _'twas my luck to give_ Teresa _and you the Blessing_. To this _Sancho_ replies. _A Plague on your Blessing! I perceive I shall have reason to wish you hang'd for your Blessing----Good finisher of Fornication, good Conjunction Copulative._[381] For this irreverence and Profaness _Perez_ threatens him with Excommunication. _Sancho_ tells him, _I care not, I shall lose nothing by it but a nap in the Afternoon._ In his Second Part, _Jodolet_ a Priest is call'd a _Holy Cormorant_, and made to dispatch _half a Turkey, and a Bottle of Malaga for his Breakfast_.[382] Here one Country Girl chides another for her sawcyness. _D'ee_ (says she) _make a Pimp of a Priest?_ _Sancho_ interposes with his usual shrewdness: _A Pimp of a Priest, why is that such a Miracle?_ In the Second _Scene_ the Poet Provides himself another Priest to abuse.[383] _Mannel_ the Steward calls _Bernardo_ the Chaplain Mr. _Cuff-Cushion_, and tells him a _Whore is a Pulpit he loves_.----In settling the _Characters Mannel_ is given out for _a witty pleasant Fellow_. And now you see he comes up to Expectation. To the Blind all _Colours_ are alike, and Rudeness, and Raillery are the same thing![384] Afterwards, _Bernardo_ says _Grace_ upon the _Stage_; and I suppose Prays to God to bless the Entertainment of the Devil. Before they rise from Table, the _Poet_ contrives a Quarrel between _Don Quixot_ and _Bernardo_. The Priest railes on the Knight, and calls him _Don Coxcomb_ &c. By this time you may imagine the Knight heartily Provok'd, ready to buckle on his _Bason_, and draw out for the Combat, Let us hear his Resentment.