The hostess fills in the name of the lady and puts that of the gentleman on the outside.
Mr. Ward McAllister tells us in his book that this is a Boston fashion, and that the New York hostesses of his day were returning to the old method “of assigning the guests in the drawing-room.” While the last-mentioned way is to be preferred for small and informal dinners, cards are convenient for ceremonious functions. A bashful young man suggests to us that they have the advantage of giving the gentleman a few minutes to think over what he shall say to his dinner-partner before he goes up to speak to her.
It is no longer the custom to enter the drawing-room arm-in-arm. A gentleman waits until the ladies of his party appear at the door of their dressing-room, and then follows them into the drawing-room. Here the host and hostess should be standing in readiness to give their guests a cordial welcome. The gentleman very soon seeks the lady whom he is to take into dinner. If he is not acquainted with her he asks the host or hostess to present him. On a less formal occasion there would be no cards, the lady of the house asking each man to take in a certain lady.
The cook should be told beforehand at what hour the dinner will be served. This is usually fifteen minutes after that named in the invitations. The butler or waitress should also be informed of the number of guests expected, in order that he or she may not announce dinner until all have arrived. The hostess herself must decide whether to wait beyond the quarter of an hour for a tardy guest or to order dinner served. In justice to the friends already assembled she will not in any event delay long.
When all is in readiness the butler or waitress advances a little way into the room, saying in a low voice, “Dinner is served.” If the dining-room is next door, it suffices to draw the portières or open the folding-doors. At a formal dinner the host offers his right arm to the wife of the guest of honor, and with her leads the way to the table. The other couples all follow arm-in-arm, the hostess coming last with the most distinguished man present or with the one for whom the dinner is given. In official circles in Washington, as in European society, the question of precedence is a very serious one. The hosts must arrange with great care the procession to the dining-room, in order that each person may have his proper place. In other American cities and towns the rules are much less strict. The younger make way for the older, and married women take precedence of single ones.