[Illustration: "Why the blazes don't ye take it?"]
_Mr. Sam Satchell_ (_whom the apathy of the public has apparently reduced to a state of defiant buffoonery_). Even money _Daredevil_, you rascals! And why the blazes don't ye take it? Come on. I'll take two little bits o' twos that _Kitty_ don't win! Four to one against ole bread-and-butter _Tommy_, over there in the corner! Eleven and a 'alf to three quarters to two against _Kitty_. "What har the Wild Waves say-hay-ing?" Two _Kitties_ to three _Daredevils_ against a bloomin' goat-chaise! On the Baymouth Durby I'm bettin'!
_Three horses have started; the favourite has led to the turn and then bolted up the shingle, but, as the tide has come in and almost covered the course, and the other two horses by declining to face the water have let him in again, he wins after an exciting finish, up to the girths in sea-water; and such bookmakers as have succeeded in obtaining patronage are paying up with as much cheerfulness as they can command._
_First Bookmaker_ (_to eager backer_). Wait a bit, my boy, wait a _bit_, the number hasn't gone up yet, my son. Where's your ticket--forty-two? (_His clerk refers to book._) That's _Squibbs_. I pay over _winners_--not losers. (_To the public._) Come along and fetch your money, the bullion's 'ere! (_To another backer._) What was yours--threes? ("Fours _I_'ve got," _from his clerk_.) Why don't yer arst for what you're entitled to, instead o' makin' me arst my clurk what your bet was? There's your money--take it and go!
[_The backer departs wealthier but abashed._
_Second B._ I'm payin' over that 'ard-run race, gentlemen, men and 'orses exhorsted! I'm payin' over _Susan_--dear ole Suseyhanner! who wants their money? The Bank o' England's 'ere, gentlemen, Mr. FRANKIE FAIRPRICE and his ole friend, who's always by his side and never looses 'im!
_Third B._ (_who has had to borrow largely from his brethren to meet his engagements_). Are you all done now? (_To the crowd._) Then I'll wish yer good afternoon, thank ye all for yer comp'ny, but you've bin bloomin' bad fun to-day, and you don't ketch me playin' Patience on a monument at any more o' yer blanky sand'oppin' 'andicaps, that's all!
[_However, the local newspaper reports next day that "A number of the sporting fraternity were in attendance to do business, and apparently carried on a brisk and profitable trade"--which only shows how difficult it is for the casual observer to form an accurate opinion._