SATURDAY, JANUARY 25, 1752. Numb. 7.
Quis non invenit turbâ quod amaret in illâ. Ovid de Arte Amand.
Who is there so stupid as not to find a fa-
vorite Letter in the following Collection?
To Sir ALEXANDER HUMBUG, Censurer of Grate Britan.
YOU, Sir Sawnny. I must not Kritichize, must I -- D--n me but I will tho in Spit of you and all your hadearents. Who the Divil are you, Mun, that you ant to be Kritichized upon. But I can til you I have Kritichized upon you, and so have seferal of my Frinds; and we d--ned all your Papers tother Day in a Coffi House, and cursed Stuff they are, there, my boy, theres a Stuff your puzling Pat never thot off. I wish wee had you upon the Stage, my Dear, wed showe you a Trik worth two othat, I warrant you; but Garrak knows better than to acte such Stuff as you can write. You put me into Grubstreet -- You kiss -- Da-n me I have 2000 l. a Year, that is, I shall have when I com from my Travels two Years hence, and shall bee of Age, but perhaps I shant travl at all but stay at home and d--n such Felows as you. TIM. BUCK.
* * * *
To the CENSOR.
SIR, IN your Remarks on the many Encomiums made on Brides in the public News-Papers, I suppose you intend to ridicule the Vanity of our Sex in publishing their own Qualifications to the World; but you will excuse me, if I have a better Opinion of the Female Part of the Species than to imagine they are ever privy to such pompous Exhibitions of themselves, and am well convinced that all these Compliments are inserted by the Bridegroom only; and they are, sometimes, I fear, the last Compliments, which he pays his Mistress.
This Matter, I own, appears to me in a very different Light from that in which it is seen by others. It raises my Indignation to read Beauty, Sense, Merit, and all Qualifications necessary to render the married State happy, at the End of every married Woman's Name, while a profound Silence is always preserved with regard to the Merits of the Husband. Good Mr. Censor, are we to understand by this that all Men are possessed of those Qualifications which can render the married State happy, or that there are really no Qualifications necessary on the Part of the Man; or lastly, that his Happiness alone, and not that of the Woman, is to be considered?
None of these I apprehend to be true; I submit, therefore, to your Judgment, whether it would not be decent for the future, either to pass over the great Endowments of the Woman, or to insert likewise those of the Man. For Instance, Yesterday A B, Esq; a Gentlemen of Sense, Honour, and Good-nature, of a comely Person, and a suitable Age, was married to Miss C D, a Lady of great Beauty, Etc. as usual: For every one of these Articles on the Man's Side are absolutely necessary to the Happiness of the Woman.
This, Sir, would be fair on both Sides; but as the matter now stands, may we not justly apprehend that many a Lady possessed of every Virtue and good Quality is thrown away either upon a Rake or a Fool, a Sot or a Clown, a Coxcomb or a R-scal; or, perhaps, on a Husband who possesses all those amiable Qualities together?
To conclude with a plain Truth, I sincerely believe the Qualifications necessary to married Happiness are much more common in Women than in Men, and may, therefore, better be understood, in general, to belong to our Sex than to yours. I am, SIR,
Grosvenor-
Your humble Servant,
Street.
DOROTHY SINGLE.
Saturday.
* * * *
To the CENSOR.
SIR,
LOOKING lately into that Volume of the Spectators, in which is inserted the humbled Petition of WHO and WHICH, I could not help reflecting on many other discarded Words which might claim an equal Right of being restored to Use, or rather of being suffered, sometimes at least, to enter into the human Mind.
The Words, I at present mean are WHY and WHEREFORE; which, if permitted to present themselves before Mankind, how many vain Pursuits would they stop in the very Beginning; and how many Scenes of Ruin and Destruction would a due Attention to them be able to prevent.
Give me Leave, therefore, to suppose these two Words, setting forth their unhappy Fate, and begging for better Quarter, in the following Complaint, addressed to you, Sir, as Censor of Great Britain. I am, SIR, Your humble Servant, SOPHIA.
The humble Complaint of WHY and WHEREFORE. Sheweth, That your Petitioners knowing of what great Use and Service we might be to all Societies, as well as to every Individual, and having a benevolent Intention of doing all the Good in our Power, are heartily grieved we so very seldom can find a Hearing.