Whenever two persons, the one having a large Nose and the other a small one, come into collision, the latter must inevitably yield, unless it is feminine, and takes a Celestial turn. It may then conquer, not by its wisdom or the force of argument, but by its persevering impudence, and harassing petty skirmishing. A wise man may, for the sake of peace and quiet, ostensibly yield to a noisy woman; though there is no real conquest, for he remains unconvinced.
But a Snub-nosed man must succumb, body and soul, to a Roman-nosed wife; she will assume the masterdom; she will endue the breeches; he cannot help himself; under her his nature is subdued, as Marc Antony’s was by Cæsar.
Take warning, therefore, ye Snub Noses; and if ye would be masters at home, marry your likes. Aspire not to wed feminine beauty; it is not for such as you. Marry Snubs; beget Snubs, till the race is extinct.
We are conscious that in discussing female Noses, we are treading on delicate ground. It is a difficult and nervous subject. We have endeavoured, however, to say nothing but what appeared to us to be plain truth. Nevertheless we would apologize if we have given offence to any one, were it not that we forcibly feel the truth of the homely adage, “the least said the soonest mended,” and therefore hasten to close a chapter which has given us more trouble and anxiety than all the rest together.
The reader will probably have been led from the nomenclature to inquire whether the assertion that certain forms of Nose are justly named after certain nations might not be extended further? and whether every nation has not a characteristic Nose?
The reply to these questionings would be in the affirmative. Every nation has a characteristic Nose; and the less advanced the nation is in civilization, the more general and perceptible is the characteristic form. While nations are in their infancy, and the mass of the people are uninformed, the features receiving no impressions from within, take the form impressed from without, and follow the national type. If one uniform state of things—of government, climate, and habits—continue, without education, generation may succeed generation, and the original facial type of the race will remain. If, however, the national circumstances alter (still without general education) the national features follow the type impressed by those circumstances. We have appealed to many instances of these simultaneous national changes when describing the different forms of Noses prevalent at different periods of English history.