A DISAPPOINTMENT. [To _perambulate_; v.n., in German, _spazieren_; in French, _se promener_; in Italian, _passeggiare_.]--_Johann Schmidt._ "Ach! vat a bitty, Mister Chones! Zen ve must not go therein to berampulate?"]
[Illustration: _Chatty Tourist._ "Beautiful specimen of a Roman camp, this, isn't it?"
_Grim Stranger._ "_No_, sir, _no_! I decline to admit that there can be _any_ true beauty about anything _Roman_!"]
On Uri's lake, in Küsnacht's dell, What is the thought can almost quell Thy patriot memory, oh TELL? _Hotel!_
Whether by blue crevasse we reel, Or list the avalanche's peal, What question blends with all we feel?-- _Wie Viel?_
_Excursion Tourist._ "Most extr'or'nary cre'char!"
_Facetious Rustic._ "Ah! that a be, measter, bred on this 'ere wery fa-arm he wor, tew!"]
MORE ENGLISH AS SHE IS WROTE.--At an hotel at Socrabaja in Java is this notice:--
"From the hours fixed for meals on no account will be deviated. For damage to furniture the proprietor will avenge himself on the person committing the same."
[Illustration: OUR BORES, NATIVE AND FOREIGN
"Ach! I schbeague Enklish not vell, not vell at all! Pot, py a leadle bractice, I imbrove ver kvick! Vait till I haf talk to you for a gopple of hours, and you shall see!"]
_Mrs. Blunderby._ "Now, my dear Monty, let me order the luncheon ar-la-fraingsy. Gassong! I wish to begin--as we always do in Paris, my dears--with some _chef-d'oeuvres_--you understand--some _chef-d'oeuvres_."
[_Emile, the waiter, is in despair. It occurs to him, however, presently that the lady probably meant "Hors d'oeuvres," and acts accordingly._
The reason why I leave unsung Your praises in the Cymric tongue You know, sweet Nelly; You recollect your poet's crime-- How, when he tried to sing "the time," He made "the place" and "loved one" rhyme, You and Dolgelly!
But now, although a shocking dunce, I've learnt, in part, the Welsh pronunc- iation deathly. I dream of you in this sweet spot, And for your sake I call it what Its own inhabitants do not-- That is "Clovethly"!
AT WHITBY.--_Visitor_ (_to Ancient Mariner, who has been relating his experiences to crowd of admirers_). Then do you mean to tell us that you actually reached the North Pole?
_Ancient Mariner._ No, sir; that would be a perwersion of the truth. But I seed it a-stickin' up among the ice just as plain as you can this spar, which I plants in the sand. It makes me thirsty to think of that marvellous sight, we being as it were parched wi' cold.