She closed her eyes with weariness, and pressed her hands to her temples.
She wondered why she could not be all evil or all good. She spoke and acted against Ruth Devlin, and yet she pitied her. She had the nettle to sting Roscoe to death, and yet she hesitated to use it. She had said to herself that she would wait till the happiest moment of his life, and then do so. Well, his happiest moment had come. Ruth Devlin’s heart was all out, all blossomed--beside Mrs. Falchion’s like some wild flower to the aloe.... Only now she had come to know that she had a heart. Something had chilled her at her birth, and when her mother died, a stranger’s kiss closed up all the ways to love, and left her an icicle. She was twenty-eight years old, and yet she had never kissed a face in joy or to give joy. And now, when she had come to know herself, and understand what others understand when they are little children in their mother’s arms, she had to bow to the spirit that denies. She drew herself up with a quiver of the body.
“O God!” she said, “do I hate him or love him!” Her head dropped in her hands. She sat regardless of time, now scarcely stirring, desperately quiet. The door opened softly and Justine entered. “Madame,” she said, “pardon me; I am so sorry, but Miss Devlin has come to see you, and I thought--”
“You thought, Justine, that I would see her.” There was unmistakable irony in her voice. “Very well.... Show her in.”
She rose, stretched out her arms as if to free herself of a burden, smoothed her hair, composed herself, and waited, the afternoon sun just falling across her burnished shoes, giving her feet of gold. She chanced to look down at them. A strange memory came to her: words that she had heard Roscoe read in church. The thing was almost grotesque in its association. “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who bringeth glad tidings, who publisheth peace!”
Ruth Devlin entered, saying, “I have come, to ask you if you will dine with us next Monday evening?”
Then she explained the occasion of the dinner party, and said: “You see, though it is formal, I am asking our guests informally;” and she added as neutrally and as lightly as she could--“Mr. Roscoe and Dr. Marmion have been good enough to say that they will come. Of course, a dinner party as it should be is quite impossible to us simple folk, but when a lieutenant-governor commands, we must do the best we can--with the help of our friends.”