Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead is a play written by Bert V. Royal.
An "unauthorized continuation," the play reimagines characters from the popular comic strip Peanuts as degenerate teenagers. Drug use, child sexual abuse, suicide, eating disorders, teen violence, rebellion, sexual relations and identity are among the issues covered in this homage at the works of Charles M. Schulz.
Characters
CB (Charlie Brown) is the main character in the play. He is intensely saddened over the death of his dog, and is forced to question both his sexuality and his social status when he unwittingly falls for his classmate Beethoven. Beethoven (Schroeder) became the school outcast prior to events in the play when it was revealed that he was sexually abused by his father. A bit of a recluse, Beethoven takes solace in playing the piano, but when he and CB become romantically involved, his world is turned upside down. CB's Sister (Sally) has gone Goth, at least for a portion of the play. It is mentioned that, like her character basis, she changes her philosophy on life often. Her other personas during the course of the play are scripted as thug (called "gansta-bitch" in the script), and hippie. Van (Linus), always the philosopher in childhood, is now a pothead with a worldview to match. He repeatedly attempts to pursue a sexual relationship with CB's Sister. Matt (Pig-Pen) is a pathological germophobe whose dirtiness has been internalized - he is sex-obsessed and homophobic, and terrorizes Beethoven mercilessly. He is also a football player, and is CB's best friend. Tricia (Peppermint Patty), a party girl, who professes herself to be "Pretty" and "Popular". Marcy (Marcie), a party girl and Tricia's sidekick. She has a threesome with Tricia and Matt during the play. Van's Sister (Lucy) has been institutionalized for setting the Little Red-Haired Girl's hair on fire. Pen Pal does not appear in person, but has a key part in the play. This character additionally alludes to being a representation of God; he/she/it has a clear picture of an afterlife and signs letters with the initials CS (Charles Schulz). Frieda is never seen, but referred to numerous times as having an eating disorder; Tricia hates her and openly comments on her weight, while Van thinks that she is actually too skinny. Rerun and Franklin are both mentioned as being guests at Marcy’s party. Marcy refers to the former as Van’s “retard little brother” and addresses an offstage Franklin by name.
Plot
CB and CB's sister have a funeral for their dog, who recently contracted rabies and was put down after killing "a little yellow bird" and nearly biting CB. The funeral ends in failure as they argue over who should say a prayer for him. After the funeral, CB approaches Van and asks him what happens to humans when they die. He answers that they get reincarnated. When CB asks Matt the same question, Beethoven walks by and Matt calls him a fag.
At lunch, Marcy and Tricia tell their friends about an upcoming party at Marcy's house. Later on, CB goes to Beethoven's practice room to listen to his piano playing, but ends up monologuing over his dead dog. An irritated Beethoven tells CB about how he cannot go through his day without someone bullying him in some sort, including CB himself, and that people "messing around" with him is just a front for harassment and violence. CB makes a truce with Beethoven and invites him to the party to re-establish their friendship. They share a kiss.
Beethoven arrives at the party to everyone's surprise. Matt insults Beethoven again, but CB comes to Beethoven's defense and kisses him, this time in front of everyone. After abruptly leaving the party with CB, Beethoven demands an explanation for what happened. CB explains he revealed his feelings not out of obligation to Beethoven, but because he truly wanted to do so. The morning after, Matt, Tricia, and Marcy all wake up together, half-naked and wondering what happened between them the night before. CB goes to visit Van's sister, who was institutionalized for setting the Little Red-Haired Girl's hair on fire. CB tells her the whole story, also revealing to her that he and Beethoven had sex after the party.