It is said that nothing is impossible; but there are lots of people doing nothing every day.
Methuselah developed peculiarities as he grew old. It is said that he never paid a telephone or gas bill.
Samson had his whims. He never went into vaudeville.
Noah never cared to take the children to see the animals at the circus.
Goliath was another who thought he had one good fight left in him.
Christopher Columbus did not go on the lecture platform to tell of his travels.
Napoleon always played solitaire before going into a battle; he couldn't run the deck out, and it made him so angry he just had to lick somebody.
Euclid invented geometry rather than design dress patterns for his wife.
Socrates was henpecked, and was one of the greatest philosophers in the world--but the rule does not hold good any longer.
[Sidenote: _Weather Sign_: A spoony pair under an umbrella is a sign of a rain beau.]
[Sidenote: _To Cure a Morning Headache_: Be a little more abstemious the night before.]
MONDAY (1875) First train ran through the Hoosac Tunnel. Hobson too young to be present.
WEDNESDAY (1793) Washington D. C. named in honor of Washington deceased.
FRIDAY It was in this month that S. N. Akes left Ireland. Located in Bellevue Hospital, N. Y.
When you see a man pushing a baby carriage, it is a sign that he has trouble before him.
One life-size morning nearly six thousand years ago Jubal sat outside of dear old Eden, whanged his harp and warbled the following:
"Gentle Spring has come at last, So keep your furnace fires full blast!"
It was thus that Spring was invented, also the first Spring poet. But why Spring should appeal to humanity as a season of romance, no one who gives this problem serious thought can imagine.
It was in the Spring that poor old Adam first had to work, and from that time on we have had that tired feeling in the Spring. (See footnote.)
It was also in the Spring that Eve wearied of her fig-leaf toque. She stuck a couple lyre bird tails in one side, three lotos buds in the other, and that settled it. Ever since man has had to hustle in the Spring to get his wife a new hat. (See footnote.)
It was in the Spring that Cain moved. That became a habit with humanity and knocked more romance out of Spring.