[Sidenote: _Health Hint_: If your blood is bad blame it on your ancestors.]
MONDAY (1905) It was decided to build a sea-level-lock canal in Panama.
(2001) It was decided to build a lock-sea-level canal instead.
TUESDAY (3000 A.D.) At a quiet meeting, Daughters of the Revolution elected their officers unanimously.
THURSDAY Wear Blinders! To gaze at anything with the naked eye is immodest. --Anthony Comstock.
Open confession may be good for the soul, but it's bad for the reputation.
Why a pretty ankle makes a "rubber-neck."
Why a Kentucky "Colonel" is a "good Judge."
Why chorus girls and lobsters always go together.
Why a Grass-widow objects to a raking over.
Why real pains from little champagnes grow.
Why there is no "Midway" on the straight and narrow path.
How a man can be "half-seas-over" on land.
[Sidenote: Muck-rakes will not be popular with trusts or officialdom, but much sought after by literateurs.
MONDAY (1906) Great excitement in County Cork. Handy Skinegie bit off a piece of the Blarney stone before delivering his address on "How I hate to be rich."
TUESDAY (1925) Atlas seeks to retire from supporting the world. American-Journal-Examiner put at his service.
FRIDAY (1906) T. Roosevelt began publishing a series of short stories in the Congressional Record.
A punch in the bowl is worth two in the face.
Before meeting his wife and family at the station a wise man will put his house in order for the home coming.
A pleasant way of doing this is to give a house-cleaning party. Divide your party into the Sweepers, the Dusters, the Scrubbers, and the Dish Washers, giving each group proper utensils and offering a prize for the best results.
Let the party begin at midnight, after a pleasant dinner, and at about 2 in the morning the police will probably come in and finish cleaning the place up.
[Sidenote: _Dairy Hint_: Most dairymen find a separator useful, but it is not absolutely necessary. To separate milk most effectively, keep away from the pump.]
MONDAY Wm. Tell born. Some persons do not believe the Wm. Tell story. What Tell do they believe?
TUESDAY Publicity brings its own reward. --Winston Churchill et al.
FRIDAY Robinson Crusoe born. Crusoe was the first victim to get a long term on the Island.