_Town._ Had you married a person of doubtful reputation----But me, Mr. Fossile!
_Foss._ I did not indeed suspect thee. But my mother obliged me to this experiment with her dying words--My wife is chaste: And to preserve her so, 'tis necessary that I have none but chaste servants about her. I'll make the experiment on all my female domesticks. [_aside._] I will now, my dear, in thy presence, put all my family to the trial. Here! bid my niece, and all the maid-servants come before me.
Give ear, all ye virgins: We make proclamation in the name of the chaste Diana, being resolv'd to make a solemn essay of the virtue, virginity, and chastity of all within our walls. We therefore advise, warn and precaution all spinsters, who know themselves blemish'd, not on any pretence whatsoever to taste these our drops, which will manifest their shame to the world by visible tokens.
_Clink._ I abominate all kind of drops. They interrupt the series of ideas. But have the any power over the virgin's dreams, thoughts, and private meditations?
_Foss._ No. They do not affect the _motus Primo-primi_, or intentions; only actualities, niece.
_Clink._ Then give it me. I can drink as freely of it as of the waters of Helicon. My love was always Platonick.
_Foss._ Yet I have known a Platonick lady lodge at a mid wife's.
_Foss._ That's one. Stand there. My niece professes herself a Platonick. You are rather a Cartesian.
_Clink._ Ah dear uncle! how do the Platonicks and Cartesians differ.
_Foss._ The Platonicks are for idea's, the Cartesians for matter and motion.
_Prue._ My mistress can answer for me. She has taken it.
_Foss._ She has. But however stand there, among the Cartesians.
3d _Wom._ My innocence would protect me, though I trod over red-hot iron. Give me a brimmer.
[_She takes a mouthful and spits it out again._]
_Foss._ 'Twas a presumptuous thing to gargle with it: but however, madam, if you please----walk among the Cartesians.
_Clink._ Prue, follow me. I have just found a rhime for my Pindarick.
_Fos._ All gone! what no more ladies here? no more ladies! [_looking to the audience,_] O that I had but a boarding-school, or a middle gallery!
_Enter Sarsnet, follow'd by two porters bearing a chest._
Set down the things here: there is no occasion for carrying them up stairs, since they are to be sent into the country to morrow.