CAREAWAY. All, sir, I may say I have been at a feast: I have lost two shillings and sixpence at the least. Marry, sir, of this gains I need make no boast; But, the devil go with all, more have I lost! My name is Careaway, let all sorrow pass! I woll ere to-morrow night be as rich as ever I was; Or at the furthest within a day or twain: My master's purse shall pay me again. Therefore ho! Careaway, now woll I sing _hei, hei_! But, by the Lord, now I remember another thing: By my faith, Jenkin, my mistress and thou Are like to agree--God knoweth how-- That thou comest not for her incontinent, To bring her to supper, when thou were sent? And now they have all supped, thou wolt surely abi', Except thou imagine some pretty and crafty lie. For she is, as all other women be, A very cursed shrew, by the blessed Trinity, And a very devil, for if she once begin To fight or chide, in a week she woll not lin; And a great pleasure she hath specially now of late To get poor me now and then by the pate; For she is an angry piece of flesh, and soon displeased, Quickly moved, but not lightly appeased. We use to call her at home Dame Coy, A pretty gingerly piece, God save her and St Loy! As dainty and nice as an halfpenny-worth of silver spoons, But vengeable melancholy in the afternoons. She useth for her bodily health and safeguard To chide daily one fit to supperward; And my master himself is worse than she, If he once thoroughly angered be. And a maid we have at home, Alison Trip-and-go: Not all London can show such other two: She simpereth, she pranketh, and jetteth without fail, As a peacock that hath spread and showeth her gay tail: She minceth, she bridleth, she swimmeth to and fro: She treadeth not one hair awry, she trippeth like a doe Abroad in the street, going or coming homeward: She quavereth and warbleth, like one in a galliard, Every joint in her body and every part: O, it is a jolly wench to mince and divide a fart. She talketh, she chatteth like a pie all day, And speaketh like a parrot popinjay, And that as fine as a small silken thread, Yea, and as high as an eagle can fly for a need. But it is a spiteful lying girl, and never well, But when she may some ill tale by me tell; She woll, I warrant you, anon at the first Of me imagine and say the worst, And whatsoever she to my mistress doth say, It is written in the gospel of the same day. Therefore I woll here with myself devise What I may best say, and in what wise I may excuse this my long tarrying, That she of my negligence may suspect nothing. For if the fault of this be found in me, I may give my life for halfpennies three. [_Hic cogitabundo similis sedeat_.] Let me study this month, and I shall not find A better device than now is come to my mind. Mistress, woll I say, I am bound by my duty To see that your womanhood have no injury; For I hear and see more than you now and then, And yourself partly know the wanton wiles of men. When we came yonder, there did I see My master kiss gentlewomen two or three, And to come among others me-thought I see,[177] He had a marvellous great phantasy: Anon he commanded me to run thence for you, To come sup there, if you would; but (I wot not how) My heart grudged, mistrusting lest that I, being away, My master would some light cast play; Whereupon, mistress, to see the end, I tarried half supper-time, so God me mend! And, besides that there was such other company As I know your mistress-ship setteth nothing by; Gorgeous dames of the court and gallants also, With doctors and other rufflers mo: At last when I thought it time and season, I came to certify you, as it was reason; And by the way whom should I meet But that most honest gentleman in the street, Which the last week was with you here, And made you a banket and bouncing cheer? Ah, Jenkin, quod he, good speed! how farest thou? Marry, well, God yield it you, master, quod I: how do you? How doth thy mistress? is she at home? Yea, sir, quod I, and suppeth all alone; And but she hath no manner good cheer, I am sure she would gladly have you there. I cannot come now, said he, I have business; But thou shalt carry a token from me to thy mistress. Go with me to my chamber at yon lane-end, And I woll a dish of costards unto her send. I followed him, and was bold, by your leave, To receive and bring them here in my sleeve. But I would not for all England, by Jesus Christ, That my master Bongrace hereof wist, Or knew that I should any such gear to you bring, Lest he misdeem us both in some worse thing; Nor show him nothing of that I before said, For then indeed, sir, I am arrayed:[178] If you do, I may nothing hereafter unto you tell, Whether I see my master do ill or well.