“Hold on there, men!” shouted the Colonel’s aide from the observer’s post, “you can’t cross that bridge. It has been blown up.”
“Tuhel with that!” retorted the Major of the other side, “we’re not crossing it, can’t you see we are swimming the dang river?”
I love a lassie, She’s naughty, but, She’s classy.
When we were in the army we used to read “The Daily Undershirt.”
A woman’s beauty is always a liability, although at times considered a big asset.
Personal—Lady 26, quiet, traveled, experienced in business or will assume domestic work for opportunity in music and art. Prefer aged person financially able who would appreciate ray of sunshine. Address MP.
An auto load of Benton girls, consisting of the Hunter sisters, Miss Calvert, Miss Ayer, and another one, attended the funeral Tuesday, and put in the rest of the time fishing, etc. They had a jolly fine time.
Would like acquaintance of good business man or a young farmer, like one with car, for pastime and results. Address C. A., care Star.
Patrons not wearing bathing suits will find the cafe very comfortable.
Caring neither for life, limb or anything, I will consider any proposition you may have, regardless of what it may be; must earn money; do anything; go anywhere; fear nothing; answers confidential. I need money. Will go the limit to get it.
Years ago when W. A. McConnell was manager of the Brooklyn theater he had a pet parrot which was kept in the box office. During a “big run” the ticket seller was wont to say, “Get in line, please; one at a time, one at a time, gentlemen.”
The bird escaped one afternoon, and McConnell commissioned some boys to find it, which they did on an old tree in a nearby park, where several crows were making its feathers fly. McConnell asked if the bird said anything and the leader of the boys replied: “Yes, he said, ‘Get in line, please; one at a time, one at a time, gentlemen.’”
The porch was dark. The hour was late. The couple sat whispering among the shadows.
“Mary,” called a voice, “it’s time for you to come in.”
Father—“A woman whose husband died with the hay fever.”
Among the things you read about but never see is a crease in a fat man’s trousers.
I walked a mile with Pleasure; She chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser For all she had to say.