Sir _Cred._ But hark ye, Zoz, I have been so often fob’d off in these matters, that between you and I, _Lodwick_, if I thought I shou’d not have her, Zoz, I’d ne’er lose precious time about her.
_Lod._ Right, Sir; and to say truth, these Women have so much Contradiction in ‘em, that ‘tis ten to one but a Man fails in the Art of pleasing.
Sir _Cred._ Why, there’s it:--therefore prithee, dear _Lodwick_, tell me a few of thy Sister’s Humors, and if I fail,--then hang me, Ladies, at your Door, as the Song says.
_Lod._ Why, faith, she has many odd Humors hard enough to hit.
Sir _Cred._ Zoz, let ‘em be as hard as _Hercules_ his Labors in the Vale of _Basse_, I’ll not be frighted from attempting her.
_Lod._ Why, she’s one of those fantastick Creatures that must be courted her own way.
_Lod._ She must be surpriz’d with strange Extravagancies wholly out of the Road and Method of common Courtship.
Sir _Cred._ Shaw, is that all? Zoz, I’m the best in Christendom at your out-of-the-way bus’nesses.--Now do I find the Reason of all my ill Success; for I us’d one and the same method to all I courted, whatever their Humors were; hark ye, prithee give me a hint or two, and let me alone to manage Matters.
_Lod._ I have just now thought of a way that cannot but take--
_Lod._ Why, what if you should represent a dumb Ambassador from the Blind God of Love.
Sir _Cred._ How, a dumb Ambassador? Zoz, Man, how shall I deliver my Embassy then, and tell her how much I love her?--besides, I had a pure Speech or two ready by heart, and that will be quite lost. [Aside.
_Lod._ Fy, fy! how dull you are! why, you shall do it by Signs, and I’ll be your Interpreter.
Sir _Cred._ Why, faith, this will be pure; I understand you now, Zoz, I am old excellent at Signs;--I vow this will be rare.
_Lod._ It will not fail to do your business, if well manag’d--but stay, here’s my Sister, on your life not a syllable.
Sir _Cred._ I’ll be rackt first, Mum budget,--prithee present me, I long to be at it, sure. [He falls back, making Faces and Grimaces.
_Lod._ Sister, I here present you with a worthy Knight, struck dumb with Admiration of your Beauty; but that’s all one, he is employ’d Envoy Extraordinary from the blind God of Love: and since, like his young Master, he must be defective in one of his Senses, he chose rather to be dumb than blind.