_Countrym._ Thank ye, sir, I don't prefer either, sir.
_O'Ded._ You must go before the justice. He'll exhort you, and commit ye.
_Countrym._ Ees, I do know that _extortion_ and _commission_, and such like, be the office of the justice; but I'll have a bit of law, please punch. He ha' killed my poor dog, that I loved like one o' my own children, and I've gotten six of 'em, Lord bless 'em.
_O'Ded._ Six children! Och, the fruitful sinner!
_Countrym._ My wife be a pains-taking woman, sir. We ha' had this poor dog from a puppy.
_O'Ded._ Shut your ugly mouth, you babbler.--Six children! Oh! we must make an example of this fellow. An't I the village lawyer? and an't I the terror of all the rogues of the parish? (_aside to him._) You must plead "not guilty."
_Countrym._ But I tell you, if that be guilt, I _be_ guilty.
_O'Ded._ Why, you blundering booby, if you plead guilty, how will I ever be able to prove you innocent?
_Countrym._ Guilty or innocent, I'll have the law of him, by gum. He has shot my poor old mongrel, and taken away my musket; and I've lost my day's drilling, and I'll make him pay for it.
_O'Ded._ A mongrel and a musket! by St. Patrick, Mr. Gamekeeper, and you have nately set your foot in it.
_Gamekeeper._ Why, sir, its a bad affair, sir. 'Twas so dark, I couldn't see; and when I discovered my mistake, I offered him a shilling to make it up, and he refused it.
_O'Ded._ (_aside to gamekeeper._) Harkye, Mr. Gamekeeper; he has one action against ye for his dog, and another for false imprisonment. (_aloud_) I love to see the laws enforced with justice: (_aside_) but I'll always help a poor man to stand up against oppression. (_to gamekeeper_) He has got you on the hip, and so go out and settle it between yourselves, and do _you_ take care of yourself: (_to countryman_) and do _you_ make the best of your bargain. [_Exeunt._
Parish officer _brings forward the_ sailor.
_Officer._ Here's a vagrant. I found him begging without a pass.
_O'Ded._ Take him before his worship directly. The sturdy rogue ought to be punished.
_Sailor._ Please your honour, I'm a sailor.
_O'Ded._ And if you're a sailor, an't you ashamed to own it? A begging sailor is a disgrace to an honourable profession, for which the country has provided an asylum as glorious as it is deserved.