DON'T know what right he thinks he has to do it," said Colonel Beresford, "but every time Hosty meets me he asks some favour or other of me."
He had returned from a short visit to Dublin and stood outside the Court House after the Petty Sessions were over. He was talking to Dr. Whitty.
"Last time I met him was the day I was going over to London to see my daughter in April. He palmed off a niece of his on me then, a creature that was going back to school, who sat on top of me the whole way from Holyhead to Euston."
"You speak figuratively, of course," said the doctor. "No respectable niece"
"The time before that he had an army pensioner whom he wanted me to take on as gatekeeper. I told him I had more gate-keepers already than I had gates; but he bothered on at me for nearly an hour. Once before he dragged me to a concert to hear a musical protégé of his. That cost me ten and sixpence, and I was frightfully bored."
"Sir Clement Hosty, " said the doctor, "appears to be a man of varied interests in life. "
"You'll say that more emphatically when you hear the last thing he did. I was lunching in the club the day before yesterday, and as soon as I entered the room I caught sight of Hosty. I sat down as far away from him as I could, of course, and I thought he wouldn't see me. Unfortunately, he did. I had no sooner lit my cigarette in the hall afterwards than he came bounding up to me. You know the way he walks."
"No, I don't. I've never seen him."
"Well, he's a stoutish man and short. He's also surprisingly energetic, and he gets over the ground like a tennis ball on a dry day. He grabbed me at once and said he wanted me to do the civil thing to a Professor Bernstein who was coming down to this neighbourhood with two assistant etymologists. They're sent out by the Royal Society to make a scientific survey of this county."
"You're sure he said etymologists?"
"Quite." said the colonel. "Hosty always shouts so that you can't pretend not to hear what he's saying, even if you're quite a long way off. Now, what sort of civility would an etymologist expect, do you think?"
"Lunch, for one thing," said the doctor. "All scientific men eat largely, you know. And whatever help you can give him in his pursuit."
"I don't know anything about etymology," said the colonel. "It's words, isn't it? not insects."
"Yes; the science of the origin of human speech, and the relationship of the words that are in one language to other words that are in other languages which don't sound a bit like them. There's a thing called Grimm's Law which lies at the base of the whole concern. It shows that whenever a German is inclined to say 'k' an Englishman naturally wants to say 'd,' or something else of the same sort."
"I sympathise a good deal with the Englishman. But what's the good of coming down here to study that sort of thing? There are no Germans here, and I don't believe there are two dozen Englishmen within a radius of ten miles of us."
"I expect," said the doctor, "that they're after Irish. It's perfectly amazing the interest German professors take—you said he was a German, didn't you?"
"No, I didn't. I don't know what he is. All I said was that his name is Bernstein."
"Then he must be a German, and, if so, he's almost certain to be studying Irish. In that case he hasn't come to an absolutely first-rate place, but still we can manage to collect a few people for him who speak the language pretty fluently. When does he arrive?"
"Next Tuesday," said the colonel. "He leaves the same day, I'm thankful to say."
"Very well," said Dr. Whitty. "You order sauer kraut and lager beer for luncheon. I'll arrange the rest, and you may rely on me to see that they get enough Irish to last them for the afternoon, anyhow."
"What do you mean to do?"
"I shall collect half a dozen old people who speak nothing else," said Dr. Whitty, "and I'll set them out in a row in your hall. I'll get Father Henaghan up to interpret. You'll have to ask him to lunch, of course; and then, after they've done eating, the scientists can have a regular linguistic debauch. I dare say you'd better have Mr. Jackson too, as you're having the priest. It's always well to avoid exciting ill-feeling, and the clergy are frightfully jealous of each other."
"You'll have to come yourself too," said the colonel. "I couldn't face a party of that sort without help."
"Right," said Dr. Whitty. "And now, as we've only got three days before us, I'd better be off."
He went straight to the Presbytery and called on Father Henaghan.
"The colonel," he said, "wants you to lunch with him next Tuesday."
"What for?"