_Sir Richard and his Lady abed. Enter Dorothy with a Light_.
_Do_. I have set already my designe a moveing To take my Captaine _Underwit_, who in wine Was late more feirie upon me. I'th meane tyme I cannot choose but laugh at the device Wee have to cheat my Master; sure the Divell Is a great friend to women that love men, He doth so furnish us with quaint inventions. Presently after supper she began Her fitt othe toothach, and did counterfeit So naturally; but since she went to bed She almost rav'd by turnes:--I heare her at it.
_Do_. Tis I forsooth, I heard you groane and I Have not the hart to sleepe. Shall I watch by you?
_La. Oh, no, no, no; get you to bed, make fast the Chamber; I cannot endure the candle.
[_Dorothy towards the dore putts out the Candle and returnes_.
_La_. I, you have your homilies of patience, but if you had my paine twould make you wild. Oh!
_Ri_. Ile send for the _french_ toothdrawer in the morning.
_La_. Oh, there is no rack nor torture like it. What shall I do? I shall never sleepe agen.
_Do_.--The sweet one you may be sure which troubles her.
_Ri_. They are happie that are old and have no teeth.
_La_. Oh, take heed, now it shoots up to my head.
_Ri_. Thou dost make my head ake with the noise.
_La_. If you knew what I suffer your head would ake indeed. I must rise and walke in the Chamber; there is no remedy.
_La_. Oh, no, no, deere life, do not crosse me; and you were in my torment you would rise and trie any thing for a little ease. It cannot be worse; the paine sure came with a cold, and who knowes but an other cold may cure me.
_La_. So, so, do not troble me; I am now in some little ease; its a heavenly thing to be goeing.
_La_. Your noise will bring my paine back agen; if you knew what a vexation it were for me to speake, You wo'not put me too't so. If you doe talke I wo'not answere a word more, oh!
_Ri_. Well by this no light ile to _London_ tomorrow.
[_She takes Dorothy by the hand and exit_.
Now do I see it is possible that a womans teeth should be as troublesome as her tongue.
_Ri_. I cannot choose but pitty her, that any woman should hold so much paine in a hollow tooth.
_Do_.--If my Mr. touched with so much compassion should rise and force me to bed with him, I must not cry out a rape; tis at the worst on my side but fornication in my owne defence.