Brown was the depôt nuisance. He had a conduct sheet filled up in red and black, and his entries would have been even more numerous if he had not possessed a great gift of cunning. He had had several passages of arms with the C.S.M. of "A" Company and had emerged unscathed more than once.
On the occasion of this story Brown was being tried for using abusive language to a superior officer, to wit, the said C.S.M. The abusive language consisted of one very striking epithet. The charge was read over to Brown, and the C.S.M. was called upon to give evidence. He stepped smartly forward. Matilda loitered between his legs ... and then, I regret to say, the C.S.M. applied the same epithet to Matilda that Brown had applied to him.
The case was reluctantly dismissed, and Matilda is out of favour with the C.S.M.
"It was my first experience of a sandstorm, and I can tell you that the sensation was a most terrible one. With the aid of my assistants I got off the camel, which immediately stretched itself in the sand, and moistening my handkerchief pushed it across my face."
Wise and dexterous creature! We presume it drew the moisture from its internal reservoir.
"The second cook, who is an American citizen, managed when the Germans ordered the lifeboats to be given up to hide one under his raincoat."--_Western Mail_.
"Some very daring entrances were forced into these fortresses. One single soldier not directly concerned with the attack found 20 bottles of champagne in one, drank a glass or two, and went forward to seek for others. Squeezing into one he discovered a German officer in bed."--_Daily Mail_.
It must have been a bantam who thought of this ingenious ruse.
As I was walking beside the docks I met a pal o' mine I sailed with once on the Colonies run in Thomson's Blue Star Line; Said I, "What cheer--what brings you here?" "Why, 'aven't you 'eard?" he said; "I'm under the Windsor 'ouse-flag now in the North Atlantic trade. We sweep a bit an' we fight a bit--an' that's what we like the best-- But a towin' job or a salvage job, they all go in with the rest; When we aren't too busy upsettin' old Fritz an' 'is frightfulness blockade, A bit of all sorts don't come amiss in the North Atlantic trade."