_MR. WINSTON CHURCHILL._--I have often wondered if a busy administrator might not get a very restful time by steadily refusing to fly.
_MR. ASQUITH._--This talk about the constant need for holidays seems to me to be, if I may say so, one of the great illusions of the day. The wise man surely is he who, seated in his chair of office, welcomes every new complication and perplexity that the moments bring, and in labour finds the true repose.
_MR. MASTERMAN._--I am spending my own holiday just now very agreeably in composing conundrums. This is my latest: "Why do I differ from my trousers?" The answer is, "Because they don't want reseating."
_LORD WIMBORNE._--There is no place for a holiday like Meadowbrook.
A set of 12 Elizabethan "Apostle" spoons were recently offered for sale at Messrs. CHRISTIE'S. Only one actual Apostle (Saint PETER) was available, but excellent substitutes were provided in the persons of ALEXANDER THE GREAT, CHARLEMAGNE, JULIUS CÆSAR, KING ARTHUR, GUY OF WARWICK, QUEEN ELIZABETH, JUDAS MACCABEUS and others.
"The fielding was particularly smart and the batsmen could not get the ball away, the only hit worth mention for several hours being a 4 by Tarrant off Bullough."
A few more efforts like this and we shall suspect TARRANT of having read the "Brighter Cricket" articles.
"A wireless message has been received here from the liner, New York, reporting that while in a dense fog she was struck a glancing blow abaft the bow by the steamer Pretoria.
The New York was stooping at the time, and the shock was only slight."
Showing the advantage of being caught bending.
Illustration: _Sergeant (to new recruit who is grooming his horse very gingerly)._ "NOW THEN, CULLY, JUST YOU BE CAREFUL 'OW YOU DUST THAT THERE 'ORSE; 'E'S A DELICATE PIECE, 'E IS, AND 'E SHOWS THE SLIGHTEST SCRATCH."
The most original feature of the Opera-Ballet, _Le Coq d'Or_, given last week for the first time in England, was the arrangement by which the actors were excused from singing, and the singers from acting. Chorus and soloists, dressed uniformly, without distinction of sex, in a nondescript maroon attire, were disposed on each side of the stage in a couple of grand stands, from which they saw little or nothing of the entertainment but enjoyed an uninterrupted view of the conductor. This left the actors free to attend to the primary business of miming, which, when it came to the distribution of applause, they clearly regarded as the most important element in the show.